...is the right to thought. It's a right that many people around the world don't have the freedom to express.
Think of your right to thought as an all-you-can-eat buffet (without calories!), a buffet that makes you healthier and happier the more you indulge. It's your right, dang it! Exercise that right for all it's worth. You exercise your right to free speech, to freedom of religion...exercise your right to thought just as vigorously.
Most if not all of us have heard the expression, "use it or lose it." It's an expression that applies to muscles you build up when you exercise; if you don't keep using those muscles, they atrophy. The expression applies to rights as well. If you don't exercise your right to thought, you put yourself in danger of losing it, either by your own volition or someone else's.
So many of us adopt for our own the opinions and beliefs of the people in whom we've decided to place our trust: parents, friends, clergy, or sometimes television and radio personalities. My advice to you is to never, never adopt an opinion or belief as your own without picking it to pieces and analyzing every scrap first.
You're independent, right? With your own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, each one adopted because it represents what you, in your deepest heart, believe to be right and true?
Are you really?
I invite you to undertake two exercises:
First--and you may have heard of this before; it was taught to me by a woman I respect--take account of your beliefs. Pick a topic, any topic. Then write down all your beliefs about that topic. Don't censor, just let them all come flowing out on the page. Then go back and re-read what you've written. How many of those beliefs conflict? How many of those beliefs, on re-read, feel wrong to you? Try to determine where each of those beliefs came from. How many came from you, and how many did you adopt--without thought--from someone in a position of authority, someone you trusted?
That's not to say, of course, that the people who shared with you their beliefs and thoughts were trying to force you to think and believe as they do. They may have been, but chances are much greater that they wanted to share with you what they believe is right and true. Your responsibility, then, is to try those beliefs and opinions on for size before you add them to your belief wardrobe. If they fits, great. If they need some alteration, great. If they don't work for you, great; toss them out. If someone doesn't respect your right to adopt the beliefs that you truly believe as opposed to what they want you to believe, resolve that in the way that works best. You may just need to talk it out; you may need to release that person from your life, or you may choose to avail yourself of some other remedy.
Your second exercise is to (most likely) change the way you listen. When someone is sharing with you a belief or opinion, listen. Just listen. It's common for us to let the sound pass over us while we formulate a response. Don't think about what you're going to say; don't agree or disagree yet. Just listen. After you listen, take some time to ponder what you heard. Consider it. Measure it; weigh it. Try it on for size. As above, if it fits, needs alteration, or doesn't work, handle it accordingly.
If you're engaged in a back-and-forth conversation, this approach still works. Listen to what the other person has to say, and then ask them to give you a few moments to process what they've said. We tend to feel that we have to respond immediately, but we don't; we don't need to hold ourselves to someone else's timetable and sell ourselves short of the opportunity to consider our own opinions and thoughts on the matter. Process, then respond. If someone keeps plowing on without giving you the chance to process, stop them. Tell them that you listened to what they had to say without passing judgement or formulating a response as they were speaking because you respect their opinion, to please give you some time to give what they said the due consideration it deserves. If they don't agree to let you have that time, that may be an indication of how much their opinion deserves consideration.
Exercise your right to thought. It's your most precious right. When you exercise it, you allow yourself to be yourself in heart, mind, and spirit. Don't let anyone else tell you who you are, what you think, or what you believe. That's not their right; it's yours. Use it or lose it.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Skin Care: Organic and All-Natural
Those of you who read my posts on Facebook have seen this already, but I thought it was worth "preserving" here. For anyone who reads this blog but doesn't read my Facebook, most of my shorter thoughts go there and/or Twitter.
Labels that say "Organic" and "All Natural" on skin care and cosmetics products mean NOTHING. People assume they're safer, more healthful, and better for the environment, but all-too-often the opposite is true. The only exception is if a product has the USDA organic seal on it. (Consider the definition of "organic" that means a substance contains carbon. Substances such as pesticide and herbicides, for instance.)
Even when the product does have that seal, that means that the plant-based ingredients were grown according to the practices that define organic foods. Organically-grown means nothing if it's, say, hemlock. Organic also doesn't mean sustainable. Gathering wild-grown endangered plants still counts as organic.
The label "all-natural" literally means nothing; there are no regulations regarding when that label can go on your product. As people who take herbal supplements know, the quality and concentration of natural ingredients can vary widely. This means that they can't be stringently safety tested.
There's a misconception that "all-natural" means better for you and better for the environment. "Natural" ingredients don't mean sustainably harvested or even organically-grown ingredients. Foxglove is natural.
People often get up in arms about ingredients like parabens. The argument is that they're endocrine disruptors. Parabens are in blueberries, kids. As far as endocrine disruptors, you're not going to find a product on the market that has a concentration of parabens that can even begin to compare with the impact of the enthusiastically-adored, touted, and lauded soy. Now THERE is an endocrine disruptor for you. There ARE ingredients to watch out for and avoid, but there aren't nearly as many of them as some folks would like you to believe.
Finally, if a label says "not tested on animals," be sure that company didn't just contract out to another company to test on animals for them. It's a disgusting practice, but it happens.
Greenwashing and deceptive product labels are insidious and far-too-widespread practices in the skin care and cosmetics industries. Know your ingredients--for real. Get your information from reputable and unbiased-as-possible sources. If every ingredient on a list is THE WORST IN THE WORLD, you're probably not looking at a legitimate source of information.
Also, know your companies. Burt's Bees is owned by Clorox; Ben & Jerry's by Unilever; Tom's of Maine by Colgate-Palmolive; Odwalla by Coca-Cola...the list goes on and on and on. Feel free to ask me for details. Also be sure to check out the safety, environmental, and social responsibility policies of those parent companies.
Shopping conscientiously and healthfully is far more complex and daunting than it seems on the surface. I'm always happy to help you wade through the muck; it's what I do, after all.
Safe, environmentally responsible, socially responsible and effective products for the win!
Labels that say "Organic" and "All Natural" on skin care and cosmetics products mean NOTHING. People assume they're safer, more healthful, and better for the environment, but all-too-often the opposite is true. The only exception is if a product has the USDA organic seal on it. (Consider the definition of "organic" that means a substance contains carbon. Substances such as pesticide and herbicides, for instance.)
Even when the product does have that seal, that means that the plant-based ingredients were grown according to the practices that define organic foods. Organically-grown means nothing if it's, say, hemlock. Organic also doesn't mean sustainable. Gathering wild-grown endangered plants still counts as organic.
The label "all-natural" literally means nothing; there are no regulations regarding when that label can go on your product. As people who take herbal supplements know, the quality and concentration of natural ingredients can vary widely. This means that they can't be stringently safety tested.
There's a misconception that "all-natural" means better for you and better for the environment. "Natural" ingredients don't mean sustainably harvested or even organically-grown ingredients. Foxglove is natural.
People often get up in arms about ingredients like parabens. The argument is that they're endocrine disruptors. Parabens are in blueberries, kids. As far as endocrine disruptors, you're not going to find a product on the market that has a concentration of parabens that can even begin to compare with the impact of the enthusiastically-adored, touted, and lauded soy. Now THERE is an endocrine disruptor for you. There ARE ingredients to watch out for and avoid, but there aren't nearly as many of them as some folks would like you to believe.
Finally, if a label says "not tested on animals," be sure that company didn't just contract out to another company to test on animals for them. It's a disgusting practice, but it happens.
Greenwashing and deceptive product labels are insidious and far-too-widespread practices in the skin care and cosmetics industries. Know your ingredients--for real. Get your information from reputable and unbiased-as-possible sources. If every ingredient on a list is THE WORST IN THE WORLD, you're probably not looking at a legitimate source of information.
Also, know your companies. Burt's Bees is owned by Clorox; Ben & Jerry's by Unilever; Tom's of Maine by Colgate-Palmolive; Odwalla by Coca-Cola...the list goes on and on and on. Feel free to ask me for details. Also be sure to check out the safety, environmental, and social responsibility policies of those parent companies.
Shopping conscientiously and healthfully is far more complex and daunting than it seems on the surface. I'm always happy to help you wade through the muck; it's what I do, after all.
Safe, environmentally responsible, socially responsible and effective products for the win!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Who am I?
It's been said that one of the most important and one of the most difficult questions is, "Who am I?"
Until age 35 or so, I didn't fully perceive that I had very little idea who I was. I knew what I believed, and I knew the roles and labels that applied to me (to the best of my understanding at the time), but I didn't really have a clue who I was. That changed very quickly.
When I was 35, I got divorced. Once I was living on my own, I came to the realization that I'd never really been on my own before, had never lived life wholly on my own terms, and didn't really know who I was when I wasn't existing in relation to someone else. I didn't know what made me happy. I didn't know what I wanted...but that's another of the big questions and best saved for another post.
It was scary when I realized that I was one of the people I knew the least.
For most of my life, I've been an activist. (There is a point to this paragraph, I promise. :)) When I was four--no joke--I remember riding in the back of my Granddad's car and exclaiming angrily about a smokestack belching black smoke into the sky. I was infuriated that they were polluting. At a very young age, I unwittingly became an anti-bullying advocate. Through the years, I've embraced more causes. I started fighting for racial equality, religious tolerance, gender equality, equal access and treatment for people with disabilities, and equality for the (at the time) LGB community. I started fighting against abuse, rape, and sexual assault. I've championed other causes as well.
Until age 35 or so, I didn't fully perceive that I had very little idea who I was. I knew what I believed, and I knew the roles and labels that applied to me (to the best of my understanding at the time), but I didn't really have a clue who I was. That changed very quickly.
When I was 35, I got divorced. Once I was living on my own, I came to the realization that I'd never really been on my own before, had never lived life wholly on my own terms, and didn't really know who I was when I wasn't existing in relation to someone else. I didn't know what made me happy. I didn't know what I wanted...but that's another of the big questions and best saved for another post.
It was scary when I realized that I was one of the people I knew the least.
For most of my life, I've been an activist. (There is a point to this paragraph, I promise. :)) When I was four--no joke--I remember riding in the back of my Granddad's car and exclaiming angrily about a smokestack belching black smoke into the sky. I was infuriated that they were polluting. At a very young age, I unwittingly became an anti-bullying advocate. Through the years, I've embraced more causes. I started fighting for racial equality, religious tolerance, gender equality, equal access and treatment for people with disabilities, and equality for the (at the time) LGB community. I started fighting against abuse, rape, and sexual assault. I've championed other causes as well.
I care passionately about these causes, but what I didn't realize until recently is that I have a personal connection with most of them.
I've learned much about myself in the past few years. I'd started writing this post with the intention of going into more detail about what I've learned, but there's far too much for one post. So, in addition to the type of content I've included in my blog thus far, I'm going to start including some content regarding my personal journey, starting when I was quite young. I will be no-holds-barred honest. I'll let you decide if that's a pro or a con. :)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Words: The Other Side of the Coin
When we last discussed The Role of Words, we talked about how words are symbols and tools. Symbols in that each arrangement of letters is inherently meaningless until we collectively agree to assign it a meaning. Tools in that the words themselves are neither "good" nor "bad"; it's the intent with which they're wielded that can be designated as such.
In that post, we focused on the responsibility of the person or people receiving the message. But in any type of communication, there are two parties. The recipient of the message is just one of them. The sender of the message--the speaker--is the other. As you might expect, the speaker has his/her/their own set of responsibilities.
On Thursday, 400 Rabbis reminded us of these responsibilities when they printed an open letter calling for Glenn Beck to be sanctioned and for Roger Ailes to apologize...essentially for Beck's liberal and unapologetic use of words related to the Holocaust and the stance of both that it's perfectly okay for him to speak in such a manner.
As speakers, it's our responsibility to be aware of the words we use, to understand their denotation (or definition meaning) as well as their connotation. Because unlike physical tools such as a shovel, words can't simply be washed off after every use. The residue that clings to a word each time we pull it out of the toolbox builds up over time. In a few cases--like the Holocaust--no repeated usage of the word was needed to accrete a connotation; the blood and horror of the event thoroughly encrusted the word in what should have been such an appalling connotation that no one could ever forget it.
When we speak, if we're not mindful of both the denotation and the connotation of the words we use, we could find ourselves digging into some very unpleasant places. In some cases, the speaker may be misinformed about the proper usage of a word; in some cases there may be regional differences in meaning or other source of mutual misunderstanding, or the speaker simply may not care. In the worst cases, the speaker may intend to offend. Both of the latter two are completely unacceptable. Especially when speaking to a large audience, especially when you know you have massive numbers of people hanging onto your every word, you take your responsibility as a speaker seriously, and you speak mindfully and with respect for all people, whether you agree with them or not. To do less--regardless of audience size--is unethical.
This may seem to contradict my earlier post on the role of words. It's actually not contradictory; it's complementary. In communication, both sides have responsibilities. It's the responsibility of the listener to ensure his or her understanding of the speaker's intent and to not fly off the handle at an "offensive" word when no offense was intended. It's the responsibility of the speaker to do his or her best to select words that appropriately communicate the intended message and then, when possible, to check back with the listener to ensure that the message was received as intended. If misunderstanding exists, it can be resolved then and there before real trouble erupts.
An extreme perspective on the part of either the speaker or the listener sparks friction. When the listener demonizes words that are really neutral, that's a problem. When the speaker recklessly flings around words that are clearly and obviously negatively-charged, that's a problem as well.
As with pretty much everything in life, the key is twofold: be responsible for ourselves, and maintain balance. It not as easy as it sounds, but it really is that simple.
In that post, we focused on the responsibility of the person or people receiving the message. But in any type of communication, there are two parties. The recipient of the message is just one of them. The sender of the message--the speaker--is the other. As you might expect, the speaker has his/her/their own set of responsibilities.
On Thursday, 400 Rabbis reminded us of these responsibilities when they printed an open letter calling for Glenn Beck to be sanctioned and for Roger Ailes to apologize...essentially for Beck's liberal and unapologetic use of words related to the Holocaust and the stance of both that it's perfectly okay for him to speak in such a manner.
As speakers, it's our responsibility to be aware of the words we use, to understand their denotation (or definition meaning) as well as their connotation. Because unlike physical tools such as a shovel, words can't simply be washed off after every use. The residue that clings to a word each time we pull it out of the toolbox builds up over time. In a few cases--like the Holocaust--no repeated usage of the word was needed to accrete a connotation; the blood and horror of the event thoroughly encrusted the word in what should have been such an appalling connotation that no one could ever forget it.
When we speak, if we're not mindful of both the denotation and the connotation of the words we use, we could find ourselves digging into some very unpleasant places. In some cases, the speaker may be misinformed about the proper usage of a word; in some cases there may be regional differences in meaning or other source of mutual misunderstanding, or the speaker simply may not care. In the worst cases, the speaker may intend to offend. Both of the latter two are completely unacceptable. Especially when speaking to a large audience, especially when you know you have massive numbers of people hanging onto your every word, you take your responsibility as a speaker seriously, and you speak mindfully and with respect for all people, whether you agree with them or not. To do less--regardless of audience size--is unethical.
This may seem to contradict my earlier post on the role of words. It's actually not contradictory; it's complementary. In communication, both sides have responsibilities. It's the responsibility of the listener to ensure his or her understanding of the speaker's intent and to not fly off the handle at an "offensive" word when no offense was intended. It's the responsibility of the speaker to do his or her best to select words that appropriately communicate the intended message and then, when possible, to check back with the listener to ensure that the message was received as intended. If misunderstanding exists, it can be resolved then and there before real trouble erupts.
An extreme perspective on the part of either the speaker or the listener sparks friction. When the listener demonizes words that are really neutral, that's a problem. When the speaker recklessly flings around words that are clearly and obviously negatively-charged, that's a problem as well.
As with pretty much everything in life, the key is twofold: be responsible for ourselves, and maintain balance. It not as easy as it sounds, but it really is that simple.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Hope
One of the many contributions of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was to offer hope, and hope is part of his legacy.
Hope is vital.
Without hope, without belief, it's impossible for anything to improve. Hope shows us how things can be, gives us something toward which to strive, gives us the strength and motivation to overcome obstacles and keep going when prospects look bleak, and bestows upon us the belief in ourselves and in our possible outcome that allow us to not only endure but to persevere and, hopefully, succeed.
Hope, literally, is life itself: true life, the life of caring, striving, seeking, believing. Without hope, we are lost, afloat, hollow shells.
This world can be discouraging; this world can make it a real challenge to hold onto our hope. But hope is our greatest treasure; when we possess it, when we have something to focus on and move toward, the tendrils can't pull us completely into the depths. When the light of hope still burns within us, the darkness of despair can never completely overcome us.
So tend to your hope as you would a fire in freezing weather when you had no other source of heat. Be mindful of the hope of others as well; handle it gently, build it and bolster it when you can.
Be honest, but be gentle, with others and with yourself. Hope is beautiful, delicate, and necessary, but delusion is toxic. Beware the difference.
Hope sustains us. As long as we have hope, we can have joy, even in the deepest depths. Hope is what allows us to follow the advice attributed to The Right Honourable Sir Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
I would say that hope is one of the things that make us human, but perhaps hope is more even than that; perhaps hope is Divine.
Hope is vital.
Without hope, without belief, it's impossible for anything to improve. Hope shows us how things can be, gives us something toward which to strive, gives us the strength and motivation to overcome obstacles and keep going when prospects look bleak, and bestows upon us the belief in ourselves and in our possible outcome that allow us to not only endure but to persevere and, hopefully, succeed.
Hope, literally, is life itself: true life, the life of caring, striving, seeking, believing. Without hope, we are lost, afloat, hollow shells.
This world can be discouraging; this world can make it a real challenge to hold onto our hope. But hope is our greatest treasure; when we possess it, when we have something to focus on and move toward, the tendrils can't pull us completely into the depths. When the light of hope still burns within us, the darkness of despair can never completely overcome us.
So tend to your hope as you would a fire in freezing weather when you had no other source of heat. Be mindful of the hope of others as well; handle it gently, build it and bolster it when you can.
Be honest, but be gentle, with others and with yourself. Hope is beautiful, delicate, and necessary, but delusion is toxic. Beware the difference.
Hope sustains us. As long as we have hope, we can have joy, even in the deepest depths. Hope is what allows us to follow the advice attributed to The Right Honourable Sir Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
I would say that hope is one of the things that make us human, but perhaps hope is more even than that; perhaps hope is Divine.
You Can Have a Dream, Too
Today in the U.S. is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
There are scads and gobs of sites, articles, reports, and shows who've all done a far better job than I could ever hope to do in celebrating the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his dedication, achievements, excellent qualities, and legacy. If you don't know about him, I urge you to seek out some sources. Learn about who he was, what he believed in, what he did, and be sure to listen to some of his speeches. He was a humbling, inspiring, charismatic, committed leader who worked fearlessly and tirelessly for the good of all people. The world is better for him having been in it, and I can only hope to learn from him and to begin to emulate some of his admirable characteristics. And that's exactly what this post is about.
We can't all be Dr. Kings. We're not all visionaries and moving orators; we won't all have a sweeping impact on an entire nation. But we can all have an effect on the world around us.
You may choose to dedicate yourself to a specific cause, something about which you feel passionate, and focus intensely on that. You may choose to focus on one area for a bit, switch to another, etc. You may just simply choose to do whatever you can in the moment to make the world a better place without honing in on any one specific cause. Whichever way you choose to go about it, any approach is great. Doing something is what's important; how you choose to go about it is entirely up to you.
However you choose to go about it, play to your strengths. Any skill or talent can be used to make things better. Help build/renovate/repair houses for the homeless or low-income families. Volunteer to be a teacher's aide, a tutor, or to help with after-school programs. Make food, and give it to the folks living on the street. Clean up a park. Visit a hospital or a nursing home. Sometimes just acknowledging someone's existence and smiling at them can have a significant impact. Or maybe the best thing you can do is focus on you for a while, such as admitting alcoholism and seeking help or learning how to manage stress better so you're able to treat yourself and others better. Being responsible for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to make the world a better place.
Whoever we are, whatever we know how to do, from whatever point we're starting, there's something we can do to improve the world around us; there's some way we can work in service for the good of all people. Our efforts don't have to be grand; they just have to be sincere. I think that's a legacy of which Dr. King would approve...at least, I hope it is.
There are scads and gobs of sites, articles, reports, and shows who've all done a far better job than I could ever hope to do in celebrating the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his dedication, achievements, excellent qualities, and legacy. If you don't know about him, I urge you to seek out some sources. Learn about who he was, what he believed in, what he did, and be sure to listen to some of his speeches. He was a humbling, inspiring, charismatic, committed leader who worked fearlessly and tirelessly for the good of all people. The world is better for him having been in it, and I can only hope to learn from him and to begin to emulate some of his admirable characteristics. And that's exactly what this post is about.
We can't all be Dr. Kings. We're not all visionaries and moving orators; we won't all have a sweeping impact on an entire nation. But we can all have an effect on the world around us.
You may choose to dedicate yourself to a specific cause, something about which you feel passionate, and focus intensely on that. You may choose to focus on one area for a bit, switch to another, etc. You may just simply choose to do whatever you can in the moment to make the world a better place without honing in on any one specific cause. Whichever way you choose to go about it, any approach is great. Doing something is what's important; how you choose to go about it is entirely up to you.
However you choose to go about it, play to your strengths. Any skill or talent can be used to make things better. Help build/renovate/repair houses for the homeless or low-income families. Volunteer to be a teacher's aide, a tutor, or to help with after-school programs. Make food, and give it to the folks living on the street. Clean up a park. Visit a hospital or a nursing home. Sometimes just acknowledging someone's existence and smiling at them can have a significant impact. Or maybe the best thing you can do is focus on you for a while, such as admitting alcoholism and seeking help or learning how to manage stress better so you're able to treat yourself and others better. Being responsible for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to make the world a better place.
Whoever we are, whatever we know how to do, from whatever point we're starting, there's something we can do to improve the world around us; there's some way we can work in service for the good of all people. Our efforts don't have to be grand; they just have to be sincere. I think that's a legacy of which Dr. King would approve...at least, I hope it is.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
How 'Bout We Take Some Responsibility?
(I try to avoid U.S.-centric posts because I like to be more universal, but sometimes you just gotta focus a little closer to home.)
There's been a lot of talk about the recent shooting spree in Arizona. As there should be.
There have been many fingers pointed. This is less helpful.
The problem isn't that the assertions being made are incorrect or irrelevant; many excellent insights have come from one side pointing the blame at the other; we'll talk more about some of those in a minute. The finger-pointing is less than helpful because the question is all wrong.
The question isn't, "How is everyone else responsible?" The question is, "In what ways have my actions/words and the actions/words of the organizations I support contributed to this outcome?" In other words, instead of working as hard as possible to shirk responsibility and shift blame onto someone else, we should all be asking ourselves in what ways we're responsible for the current state of affairs in which such events occur. We need to stop asking, "How can I make this their fault?" and start asking, "In what way is this my fault?" That's the only way we're ever going to get anywhere.
Because we're all part of this society to some extent, and we can make things better, let them stay the same, or make them worse.
You may be saying, "I had nothing to do with that guy! I live nowhere near Arizona!" But just because you or I didn't bully him in school or suspect him of having mental health issues and neglect to help him doesn't mean we haven't in some way contributed to the current milieu in which such events occur.
The shooting in Arizona was not the first such event we've seen. And yet, so many people seem so shocked. How can that be?
I know it's easier to believe that events like Columbine and Virginia Tech were just isolated incidents, the result of the perpetrator's mental illness or having been the victim of bullying. But surely anyone who allows themselves to think about it even a little realizes that mental illness and bullying really aren't terribly rare, and they certainly don't disappear from the world just because someone shoots some people.
After such incidents, there's a flurry of discussion on topics such as gun control, mental illness, bullying, the gun culture in our country, whether violent images in our culture are creating violent impulses, etc. But once the furor dies down after such an incident, conversations stop, attention gets focused elsewhere, very little--if any--change occurs, and people mostly seem to forget...and then seem dumbfounded when it happens again. Would it be rude of me to scream, "WAKE UP!" at this point?
Three points need to be made.
First, anyone who thinks there's only one single cause for any human action more complex than fulfilling basic biological needs lives in a children's book. People are neither that simple nor straightforward. If they were, the field of psychology would have no need to exist, and Aspies like me wouldn't be so darn confused so much of the time. Moreover, anyone who thinks there's one single, easily-identifiable reason for one person to shoot a bunch of other people (and sometimes themselves) is either in serious denial or is flat-out delusional. If the decision between oatmeal and a doughnut for breakfast becomes a theater for actors like desire, guilt, determination, societal pressure to look good, the allure of instant gratification, concerns regarding health, concerns regarding money, anxiety, a bundle of tangled perspectives on self-perception, etc., how in the world can a shooting be a single-cause action?!? Srsly.
Second, these things that people discuss in the wake of such events need to be discussed. It would have been nice if we could have paid some attention to things what needed fixed before someone started blasting away, but since it's far and away too late to keep THAT from happening, how's about we make sure we keep up the discussion this time long enough to resolve some things?
To hold public office is to be in service of the people. At least that's the theory, the actual point of the office. All too often these days, in practice, to hold public office is to become a buffoon dancing in "service" to some rabid agenda that actually serves neither the people nor any function and doesn't even make sense. It's just another form of sensationalist entertainment...which is highly offensive, since these people are supposed to be the stewards of a great nation. Instead, they degrade and humiliate us.
To paraphrase both The Bible and President Abraham Lincoln, "a house divided cannot stand." Conservative, liberal, right, left, Republican, Democrat, Tea...anyone who's "on a side", anyone who's calling names, pointing fingers, jumping up and down in righteous indignation at "them", YOU are the problem. Are we not all Americans? (Which is odd, really...there are three entire continents with "America" in the name; how is it that people from the U.S. are the "Americans"?) Should we not all be pulling together to make our country great, to make the U.S. a nation of which we can be proud? Are we truly not better than all these shenanigans and all this sensationalism, bickering, rhetoric, vitriol, hate, and downright crazy-eyed brainless ridiculousness? Are we sheep, powerless to do anything but placidly "baaaa" when the buffoons with their nonsense speeches rant about waging war on each other? Are we clamping our hands over our eyes and ears and filling our brains with the equivalent of junk food so we don't have to let ourselves be struck by who and what we have become as a country? If, instead of chasing individual glory as politicians or parties, elected officials focused on serving the people, on solving problems, on working together to create solutions, if all the time, money, effort, and resources that get poured into mudslinging, backbiting, throat tearing, grandstanding, and prancing about like peacocks instead got funneled into--oh, I dunno--elected officials actually doing their jobs, can you IMAGINE what could be accomplished? Instead of a bunch of hot air and empty promises in expensive suits, we could actually start to see results.
But here's the thing.
The shenanigans happen because we let them happen. No, we encourage them to happen. We buy into the sensationalism. We get all rabid right along with the buffoons. We watch/listen to their shows. We listen to their speeches and read their articles. We lap up their every secretion and beg for more. We give them money. We vote for them. We wave signs and cheer at the rallies of ones we support; we wave signs and yell in protest at the rallies of ones we oppose. We obediently play the role of pawn and puppet in their little power struggles with each other...and we love it. Well, okay, not all of us do those things. But enough of us do them that the buffoons continue to be successful, that the hate and divisiveness continue to be pervasive.
I'm sorry, folks, but letting our lives become a reality TV show for entertainment while real people really get hurt by it--and I don't just mean the people who get shot, or who die in terrorist attacks, or even those who die fighting in wars, but ALL of us, because we're all being hurt by it, especially our children--is NOT okay. We seriously need to grow up, stop letting ourselves get carried away by the adrenaline rush of the rabid hate machine, think about the fact that "the enemy" are people just like us--AMERICANS just like us--who want to be happy and avoid pain, who love their kids and love their spouse and love their pet, who go to work every day, who may very well like to do the same things you like or like the same foods as you. We're all on the same team. It's like the Dallas Cowboys playing against themselves; it makes no sense...for one thing, if their team was divided, it wouldn't be as strong, right? See what I'm getting at here? We're all one team, and different folks have different outlooks for a reason, same as the quarterback and tight end have different jobs on the field. The more different perspectives you have on a problem--IF the people with those perspectives can work together instead of against each other--the stronger and more viable of a solution they can create.
We're THE UNITED STATES, for goodness' sake. We're the home of the Declaration of Independence and the Founding Fathers and "American ingenuity" and "American spirit" and all sorts of legendary people and traits. And this circus is what we've come to? Surely not. It sickens me to think that good men and women are giving their lives to fight for our freedom, and this is what we choose to do with it. It's not right.
We can be better. So be better. Take responsibility. Demand accountability. Let's take care of ourselves; let's take care of each other; let's solve some problems. Let's remind the world--and ourselves--who we really are. We're the UNITED States. Let's get to work on re-familiarizing ourselves with the "united" part of that, shall we?
There's been a lot of talk about the recent shooting spree in Arizona. As there should be.
There have been many fingers pointed. This is less helpful.
The problem isn't that the assertions being made are incorrect or irrelevant; many excellent insights have come from one side pointing the blame at the other; we'll talk more about some of those in a minute. The finger-pointing is less than helpful because the question is all wrong.
The question isn't, "How is everyone else responsible?" The question is, "In what ways have my actions/words and the actions/words of the organizations I support contributed to this outcome?" In other words, instead of working as hard as possible to shirk responsibility and shift blame onto someone else, we should all be asking ourselves in what ways we're responsible for the current state of affairs in which such events occur. We need to stop asking, "How can I make this their fault?" and start asking, "In what way is this my fault?" That's the only way we're ever going to get anywhere.
Because we're all part of this society to some extent, and we can make things better, let them stay the same, or make them worse.
You may be saying, "I had nothing to do with that guy! I live nowhere near Arizona!" But just because you or I didn't bully him in school or suspect him of having mental health issues and neglect to help him doesn't mean we haven't in some way contributed to the current milieu in which such events occur.
The shooting in Arizona was not the first such event we've seen. And yet, so many people seem so shocked. How can that be?
I know it's easier to believe that events like Columbine and Virginia Tech were just isolated incidents, the result of the perpetrator's mental illness or having been the victim of bullying. But surely anyone who allows themselves to think about it even a little realizes that mental illness and bullying really aren't terribly rare, and they certainly don't disappear from the world just because someone shoots some people.
After such incidents, there's a flurry of discussion on topics such as gun control, mental illness, bullying, the gun culture in our country, whether violent images in our culture are creating violent impulses, etc. But once the furor dies down after such an incident, conversations stop, attention gets focused elsewhere, very little--if any--change occurs, and people mostly seem to forget...and then seem dumbfounded when it happens again. Would it be rude of me to scream, "WAKE UP!" at this point?
Three points need to be made.
First, anyone who thinks there's only one single cause for any human action more complex than fulfilling basic biological needs lives in a children's book. People are neither that simple nor straightforward. If they were, the field of psychology would have no need to exist, and Aspies like me wouldn't be so darn confused so much of the time. Moreover, anyone who thinks there's one single, easily-identifiable reason for one person to shoot a bunch of other people (and sometimes themselves) is either in serious denial or is flat-out delusional. If the decision between oatmeal and a doughnut for breakfast becomes a theater for actors like desire, guilt, determination, societal pressure to look good, the allure of instant gratification, concerns regarding health, concerns regarding money, anxiety, a bundle of tangled perspectives on self-perception, etc., how in the world can a shooting be a single-cause action?!? Srsly.
Second, these things that people discuss in the wake of such events need to be discussed. It would have been nice if we could have paid some attention to things what needed fixed before someone started blasting away, but since it's far and away too late to keep THAT from happening, how's about we make sure we keep up the discussion this time long enough to resolve some things?
- Mental Health Issues - We need more readily available and less costly mental health support in this country. We need to find out what's actually going on with folks before either blowing them off or shoving a pill--or five--down their throats. And we need to work together to remove the stigma associated with seeking help for mental health issues.
- Gun Control - An extremist point of view on either end of this issue is irresponsible. Adult individuals have the right to make their own choice regarding whether or not they wish to own firearms. Not only would taking away that right not solve the root causes of the real problems, it would cause new problems. Letting any adult walk into a store where firearms are sold, however, and almost immediately walk out with a high-capacity semiautomatic weapon is so incredibly irresponsible, arrogant, and infuriatingly idiotic there simply aren't words to express the reprehensibility of such brazen disregard and negligence. Requiring a concealed carry class/qualification/certification, a background check, waiting period, and registration/license are all excellent ways to help increase firearm responsibility and safety. Reinstating the assault weapons ban or passing similar legislation would help reduce the number of casualties when shootings do occur. It's a lot harder to shoot 30 people before being interrupted if your firearm only holds 10 rounds instead of 32; reloading takes at least a little time.
- Bullying - There have been some excellent discussions recently regarding bullying. They're decades overdue. Bullying is two things: 1) unacceptable, 2) something kids learn from their parents. Parents, if you haven't figured it out by now, your kids hear and see everything. No, not like you hear and see everything they do. They really hear and see everything. Because they're small and unobtrusive and sometimes beneath notice or lurking just out of sight, or maybe you don't realize how loud your voice is or how keen their hearing is or how much they really are paying attention even if they seem to be focusing on something else. So when you're posturing aggressively and talking hate and trash about someone, expressing your frustrations by recounting all the things you're going to do to someone, etc., they're learning from you how to treat people. Kids are "monkey see, monkey do", and you may not even realize what they've seen or heard until it comes back to haunt you. Be careful what you do and say. Tone of voice? Facial expressions? Think they're too subtle for your child to pick up on them? Wrong. They soak up everything. You have to be better than you are so they can be better than you are. Don't just be mindful of the example you set; be terrified of the example you could set if you aren't mindful.
- Violent Images, Music, etc. - I'm laying another one on you, parents. Your children see the world the way they do because that's what you've taught them. Either by actively informing and shaping them or by "teaching" them through neglect--you're still teaching them, just nothing good--or something in between, you're the ones who mold their perspective and values. Some of your children will assert their independence, break from your beliefs, and seek their own. Some never will. Regardless, the initial structure you provide them creates the framework for the rest of their lives: how they view themselves, other people, and the world around them; how they learn, grow, and develop; how they interact with other people and their world, who they eventually become. They process music, movies, TV, video games, etc. through the filters that your instruction builds. They choose what they watch, listen to, and play because they've grown into those choices from building on the foundation you've created for them. If you've taught your children well and given them a solid foundation and framework, they'll make good choices, and regardless of what they may watch, listen to, or play, they'll be good people. You absolutely CANNOT rely on the educational system, the government, television, movies, music, or any other source to teach your children how to be good people. It is ALL on you. Too many parents like to foist that responsibility--or, more often, blame when something goes wrong--on someone or something else, doing things like suing schools or game manufacturers when their children "go wrong." But that's a cop out, and it not only hurts your child, it's hurting everyone else's children, too. Grow up, take responsibility, and be parents to your children. Anyone who can't or isn't willing to do that shouldn't have them in the first place.
- Gun Culture/Political Vitriol - People are saying it's unfair to blame Sarah Palin and her crosshair/gun sights map that targeted 20 Democrats and used terms such as "reload," "aim," and "salvo," or Jesse Kelly and his "Get on Target for Victory in November/Help Remove Gabrielle Giffords from Office/Shoot a Fully Automatic M16 with Jesse Kelly" event in June, or Sharron Angle and her "Second Amendment remedies", or Sean Hannity, Rep. Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck, or any of the hate-mongering herd, regardless of party affiliation. And in a way, they're right. As Henry Rollins has pointed out, all the vitriol-spewing in the world wouldn't make a bit of difference if people just stopped listening to the sources of it. But since people do listen, and since it's clear that not everyone is the picture of mental health and stability, don't you think perhaps it would have been a good idea for these folks to consider that their diarrhea of the mouth might have ramifications? You'd think that folks like Sarah Palin and Jesse Kelly would think (okay, I could stop the sentence there) that someone might take their rhetoric literally and go, well, on a shooting spree. Or you'd at least think they'd consider how it might come back to reflect on them if their target(s) actually ended up being shot. The sad thing is, they very well may have considered those things. Bad publicity is still publicity, after all, and is often, sadly, just as good as good publicity. And, to some people, sickeningly enough, being associated with the attempted assassination of a liberal is good publicity. I'd certainly hope that being associated with the death of six people, including a child, isn't considered good publicity by anyone. If it is, I honestly don't want to know.
To hold public office is to be in service of the people. At least that's the theory, the actual point of the office. All too often these days, in practice, to hold public office is to become a buffoon dancing in "service" to some rabid agenda that actually serves neither the people nor any function and doesn't even make sense. It's just another form of sensationalist entertainment...which is highly offensive, since these people are supposed to be the stewards of a great nation. Instead, they degrade and humiliate us.
To paraphrase both The Bible and President Abraham Lincoln, "a house divided cannot stand." Conservative, liberal, right, left, Republican, Democrat, Tea...anyone who's "on a side", anyone who's calling names, pointing fingers, jumping up and down in righteous indignation at "them", YOU are the problem. Are we not all Americans? (Which is odd, really...there are three entire continents with "America" in the name; how is it that people from the U.S. are the "Americans"?) Should we not all be pulling together to make our country great, to make the U.S. a nation of which we can be proud? Are we truly not better than all these shenanigans and all this sensationalism, bickering, rhetoric, vitriol, hate, and downright crazy-eyed brainless ridiculousness? Are we sheep, powerless to do anything but placidly "baaaa" when the buffoons with their nonsense speeches rant about waging war on each other? Are we clamping our hands over our eyes and ears and filling our brains with the equivalent of junk food so we don't have to let ourselves be struck by who and what we have become as a country? If, instead of chasing individual glory as politicians or parties, elected officials focused on serving the people, on solving problems, on working together to create solutions, if all the time, money, effort, and resources that get poured into mudslinging, backbiting, throat tearing, grandstanding, and prancing about like peacocks instead got funneled into--oh, I dunno--elected officials actually doing their jobs, can you IMAGINE what could be accomplished? Instead of a bunch of hot air and empty promises in expensive suits, we could actually start to see results.
But here's the thing.
The shenanigans happen because we let them happen. No, we encourage them to happen. We buy into the sensationalism. We get all rabid right along with the buffoons. We watch/listen to their shows. We listen to their speeches and read their articles. We lap up their every secretion and beg for more. We give them money. We vote for them. We wave signs and cheer at the rallies of ones we support; we wave signs and yell in protest at the rallies of ones we oppose. We obediently play the role of pawn and puppet in their little power struggles with each other...and we love it. Well, okay, not all of us do those things. But enough of us do them that the buffoons continue to be successful, that the hate and divisiveness continue to be pervasive.
I'm sorry, folks, but letting our lives become a reality TV show for entertainment while real people really get hurt by it--and I don't just mean the people who get shot, or who die in terrorist attacks, or even those who die fighting in wars, but ALL of us, because we're all being hurt by it, especially our children--is NOT okay. We seriously need to grow up, stop letting ourselves get carried away by the adrenaline rush of the rabid hate machine, think about the fact that "the enemy" are people just like us--AMERICANS just like us--who want to be happy and avoid pain, who love their kids and love their spouse and love their pet, who go to work every day, who may very well like to do the same things you like or like the same foods as you. We're all on the same team. It's like the Dallas Cowboys playing against themselves; it makes no sense...for one thing, if their team was divided, it wouldn't be as strong, right? See what I'm getting at here? We're all one team, and different folks have different outlooks for a reason, same as the quarterback and tight end have different jobs on the field. The more different perspectives you have on a problem--IF the people with those perspectives can work together instead of against each other--the stronger and more viable of a solution they can create.
We're THE UNITED STATES, for goodness' sake. We're the home of the Declaration of Independence and the Founding Fathers and "American ingenuity" and "American spirit" and all sorts of legendary people and traits. And this circus is what we've come to? Surely not. It sickens me to think that good men and women are giving their lives to fight for our freedom, and this is what we choose to do with it. It's not right.
We can be better. So be better. Take responsibility. Demand accountability. Let's take care of ourselves; let's take care of each other; let's solve some problems. Let's remind the world--and ourselves--who we really are. We're the UNITED States. Let's get to work on re-familiarizing ourselves with the "united" part of that, shall we?
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