"Why Does It Matter?" Part Three

Allow us now to move upward and outward in our journey.

John Donne wrote, "No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

If you take exception to his use of the word "man", feel free to adapt the phrasing as you see fit; the importance here is not in the diction but in the message: no individual lives in a vacuum; we are all interconnected with each other and with our world, and we each impact the other in unfathomable and irrevocable ways. 

One could imagine a highly intricate web linking us all, but that image would be inadequate; the connections between us and our world border on the infinite; the pattern would be too complex for the mind to comprehend.  Let us, then, simplify the image in order that we may better understand the ramifications of these inter-relationships. 

Imagine a simple network.  As many of us know, any network is only as strong as its weakest components.  Or, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  When we work together, when we do the right thing, when we act with honor and live in truth, when we love and care and hope and dream, we are strong; we lift each other up; we strengthen each other.  It's a cyclical effect, a positive feedback loop.  And it can be done; it just needs people to commit themselves to setting it in motion.  It won't be easy or fast, but it will be worth it.  It will be worth everything.

Because the opposite also holds true.  The more we let greed, destruction, despair, violence, cynicism, hatred, anger, and their kindred reign supreme, the further we sink into torment and desolation.

In which state would you rather live?

It's pretty much a no-brainer, huh?

An Interlude with Food

I don't want this blog to be all dry, serious, snooze-inducing boredom.  By its very nature, heavy topics will be discussed, but at the same time, all aspects of life are relevant, and it's good to come up for air every now and again. :)

One of the things I ponder from time to time is our love/hate relationship with food.  Okay, let's be honest.  We have a lot of love/hate relationships with food in the U.S., and I ponder many of them.  The one in particular I'm considering in this case is how the role of a single food or beverage can change from superhero to supervillain and back again.

For instance, folks used to laud the positive health effects of...can you guess?  Cigarettes, of all things!

When I was kid, eggs, toast with butter, milk, and coffee for the adults was a typical breakfast.  It was considered good, wholesome food.  And then...dun dun DUN!

Eggs?  Bad!  Cholesterol and fat, oh my! 

Butter?  Bad!  Use margarine! 

Milk?  Bad!  Too much fat!

Coffee?  Bad!  Caffeine!

Aaaaaaauuugghhh!

*runs around in a circle screaming and flailing arms like hair's on fire*

Now? 

"Hey, eggs are actually pretty good for you as long as you don't go overboard and are careful to watch your cholesterol; they have vitamins and protein and stuff!  Who knew?"

"Oh, hey, remember how we said to use margarine?  Yeah, strike that.  Turns out that all that fake stuff isn't really all that good for you after all.  And, as long as you're careful to watch your fat intake, butter's not actually all that bad.  Plant fats that haven't been made into some strange solid substance are better, but olive oil might be a little weird on your breakfast toast.  So, uh, our bad." *shifty eyes*

"Milk?  Erm, we got back these studies that showed that people who eat low-fat dairy products actually lose more weight and retain more lean muscle mass than people who've been following our advice and shunning dairy.  And yogurt's a great way to maintain healthy gut flora, and man, that stuff's amazing!  Did you know scientists now think that some of recent human evolution was instead the evolution of human gut flora?  And that gut flora can turn the expression of human genes on and off?!?  Be sure to get dairy products from cows that weren't treated with antibiotics or hormones, 'cause those things we're pretty sure are no good, and watch your portion sizes, but eat up!"

"Coffee?  For people who aren't overly sensitive, moderate caffeine intake can have positive health benefits, and coffee's actually a pretty darn good source of antioxidants.  Yeah, we didn't see that one coming, either."

These days, moderate alcohol intake is said to be healthful (I, myself, don't partake); dark chocolate is now a health food (Appollonius!); people are warned that the ever-healthful salad may not be as great as they think it is; pasta, which used to be a "healthy food" when I was kid is now a bad guy; beef is on-again-off-again; fish is either wonderful or terrible depending on who's talking, what kind of fish, and where the fish lived; how can a person keep up and where does it end?  For people who actually pay attention to this stuff, this kind of flip-flop, back-and-forth, all-or-nothing panicfest must really get confusing, frustrating, and downright draining. 

The sad fact is that, these days, there's some sort of problem with everything.  With everything we eat, drink, breathe...  Except in a few cases, it's pretty much a matter of "pick your own poison." :-/  But--in my mind--here's the answer:

Don't rely on so-called experts to tell you what's best for you.  Trust your body.  Food fads are food fads regardless of who's propagating them.  Your body knows what works for it. 

Also don't rely on so-called experts for reliable information.  Dig around and find out information on your own.  Make sure that any claims you might hear/read are corroborated by an independent source before you take them as fact.  There's a ton of misinformation out there, and there's a lot of information put out there by people who want you to buy their product over someone else's. 

Don't trust labels.  For packaged items, read the ingredients closely, and know what to watch out for.  For produce and meats, know what terms like "organic" and "grade A" really mean, and whether the same standards apply in Mexico and Chile and Argentina and other places that export their produce to us (I live in Texas; maybe other states don't get these same products; I don't know).  I can tell you that after seeing a field of "organic" produce in another country get fertilized with untreated human waste, I'm no longer quite as blindly enthusiastic about the idea of organic food; I do my research on it same as anything else.  Because you can't tell by looking at the luscious berries that E. coli, Salmonella, or Listeria are hanging out inside them waiting to make you ill.  Trust me; I speak from experience. >.<

I treat claims about food the same as I treat e-mail forwards.  If there are too many exclamation points, warnings, fear tactics, or absolutes, I don't trust it.  Food--like pretty much anything else--should be approached with moderation and good sense. 

It's funny for how many things in life the answer is simply "moderation and good sense", isn't it?

"Why Does It Matter?" Part Two

Last time, we discussed why it matters to do the right thing, and we started with the perspective of self.  Because, by the nature of our existence, how we perceive our world, and the fact that we have to be responsible for our own survival, that's where everyone begins, regardless of how selfless they may be.  Let's consider a different perspective this time, still somewhat self-focused, but a bit less so.

The aspect of the topic I want to focus on today is doing the right thing versus doing the easy thing, and why doing the right thing is better.  Because--let's make no mistake--the right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same thing.  Doing the right thing isn't always pleasant or fun, either.  But it is always right, which means it is always worth it.  But why?

The answer to this one is really pretty simple.  Because when you do the right thing instead of the easy thing, you're someone you can believe in, be proud of, and respect; that's all you need to feel good about yourself.  You're someone other people can believe in, be proud of, look up to, rely on, and respect.  When you do the right thing, you make yourself stronger.  When you do the right thing, you feel clean and powerful inside.  When you do the right thing, there's no need for guilt or regrets or "what ifs;" you can sleep at night knowing that you've done the right thing, you've done your best, all you can do, and no one could ask for more.  When you do the right thing, there are no scores to settle, no scales to balance; you keep the balance as you go. 

When you do the right thing, life may not be as easy as it seems for some people, but it is right, and it is fulfilling, and that's the best feeling one can have.

"Why Does It Matter?" Part One

One of the things you'll hear me go on about a lot is doing the right thing.  You may find yourself asking, "Why does it matter?"  It's a legitimate question, and one that's worth answering.  Especially when no one else is looking, why does it matter if we do the right thing?  Why does it matter what we do?

There are a multitude of answers to this question, and a multitude of directions from which to approach it.  This question isn't something that can be wrapped up in a neat little answer and encapsulated in a single blog post.  And even after all the parts of this series have been written, I'm sure it's a topic we'll touch on again.

Let's start where our perspective starts: with ourselves.  We perceive the world with our senses, make sense of it with our brains; we are individuals.  A somewhat self-centered point of view is inevitable in even the most selfless person; since we can't put ourselves inside other people's heads, our perspective will always be based in and from our selves.  Often, being self-centered is viewed as a Bad Thing.  And, if the self-centered perspective is allowed to grow out of proportion, to take over, to squelch any thought of or care for others, it is a Bad Thing.  Pretty much anything in excess is.

I could begin the discussion with lofty ideals of caring for others before oneself--and I do hold to those ideals--but let's instead begin where we all do, centered within ourselves, and then work toward those lofty ideals.  One does not begin at the foot of the mountain and leap instantaneously to the pinnacle.  Climb with me toward the top, one step at a time.

Throughout the existence of humankind--and to be fair, even before that, among animals--different groups have adapted in different ways to the environment in which they found themselves.  People developed cultures that, in their every detail, equipped them to thrive within their niche.  The culture of a desert-dwelling people would differ greatly from the culture of people who live in lush plains.  Different cultures may seem to be rather arbitrary, but when you really look at them, when you study the details, when you consider the context in which they developed, there's an elegant, beautiful sense that emerges from even the smallest minutiae.

One consistency that developed regardless of environment was that the societal unit had an internal cohesion.  This is something of an oversimplification, of course, as "societal unit" can mean many different things.  I certainly don't mean to imply that every culture prior to our own had harmony within itself.  But, to a certain extent and to the best of existing knowledge, there certainly was at some level an internal allegiance to the larger group.

When I use the word "allegiance," I'm sure many people in the U.S. think of The Pledge of Allegiance, and think, "I have allegiance!" (And, if you say/write that word enough times--like any word--it starts to sound really funny. >.>)  For us, it's an abstract.  Pre-modern civilization, it was a matter of survival.  Being part of the group protected you from the elements, from predators, from starvation, from other cultures that were unknown factors and weren't necessarily friendly, etc.

At least in modernized cultures, the world doesn't quite work that way anymore.  We don't rely on each other quite so directly for our survival past a certain age.  We can be cut-throat and not only survive but "get ahead."  And that can look really attractive; one can begin to wonder, "why not?"

But the world isn't really so different after all.  We may not run the risk of being literally eaten by wolves if we alienate everyone around us and seek to only serve ourselves, but we will end up eaten sooner or later: if not by the wolves we've created with our callousness, then by ourselves.  People aren't meant to live like that.  It's a hollow existence riddled with misery and loneliness.  The emptiness and regret will feast.  And it's difficult to find someone who cares about and is willing to help someone who had no care or help for others.  That's not a place in which anyone wants to be, no matter how attractive it may look in the short-term.  Everyone needs help or care of some kind eventually.

The world isn't so different after all.  Despite our climate control and manicured lawns, we still rely on each other for survival.  We still rely on each other for community and support.  We still need each other to fully realize our own humanity.  Perhaps now even more than ever we need each other.

Someone I've seen referred to only as JIK II said or wrote, “Rich is not how much you have, or where you are going, or even what you are, rich is who you have beside you.”  Anything a person can obtain from alienating and hurting other people has little worth, especially when compared to the incomparable worth of having people who care about you.

And especially when no one else is looking, that's when it matters most what we do.  Because we know whether or not we did the right thing.  And that makes all the difference.

Attitude of Gratitude Postscript

I confess to being a Facebook user.  I got dragged into it kicking and screaming maybe a year and a half ago (that's one thing you'll learn if you stick with me through my posts; I don't do chronological time; it's all "the other day" to me...yesterday, 30 years ago, it doesn't matter :P) because people kept asking other Facebook users they knew were in contact with me for my contact information, and there were some people I'd been hoping to reconnect with, so I gave in.  I played some games at first and wasted too much time on the thing, but now I read the newsfeed from people I actually know and from vendors/organizations/celebrities, etc. I like, and that's about it.  I learned moderation.  In that respect.  For now.  I make no promises. >.>

The point to all this is that one of the groups or pages or something--they keep changing how things work, and although I can build a computer, I can't quite seem to figure out the logic of Facebook, especially since they seem to consistently change it just about the time I get it sorted--that I follow, called Positively Positive posted a relevant quote, and I wanted to share it.  I follow this particular page not so much because I consider myself an optimist but because I'd like to be more optimistic and find that they provide some good inspiration from time to time.  That's another thing you'll learn about me if you stick with me through my posts; I like to collect inspiring quotes and read them sometimes when I need to get my mind out of a gloomy rut.

Anyway, to finally get to the point, here's the quote posted today on Facebook's Positively Positive that I wanted to share with you: "To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live in gratitude is to touch Heaven." - Johannes A. Gaertner

So whatever you may consider Heaven or heaven to be, may you touch it every day and find abundant reasons to live in gratitude.

Attitude of Gratitude

I can't take credit for the title of this post, which I'm sure most of you know; I'm sure many of you have heard the term before.  It's an excellent term, and I fully admit I have no idea who originally coined it, which is sad; someone should be getting credit for that.  The point of the post, though, is the idea conveyed by the term, so allow us to proceed in our perusal of that topic...

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States, a holiday with a not-wholly-spotless past on which we theoretically give thanks for all the blessings in our lives, but usually during which people eat a whole lot of food, possibly watch parades and/or football (here in Texas, I think the football's mandatory), and apparently sometimes get drunk and fight with family members.  It often seems to end with pretty much everyone snoozing on the couch or washing up in the kitchen--usually the same people who've been cooking all week; enjoy your reward, ladies!--and pie.  We can't forget the pie; it's the best part.  For a day named for giving thanks, though, there's not a lot of focus on thanks-giving.  At least not in general, as far as I can tell; I'm sure some folks give the concept more than a passing nod.

Don't get me wrong.  I think giving thanks is an excellent idea.  I also think, however, it would be beneficial to focus on it more often than once a year.  And maybe to adopt some holiday traditions that connect more with the idea of giving thanks and less with the idea of stuffing as much food into one's face as humanly possible.  But let's keep the pie.

I gotta admit; I tend to be something of a pessimist.  But we see what we look at.  There's a world of difference in my outlook and in my life when I focus on counting my blessings and on being grateful for my life being full-of-great instead of fretting about what's wrong, or worse, what might go wrong. 

The fact is, most of us are showered in blessings; most of us have an endless stream of things for which to be grateful.  The things we worry about, the problems and less-than-greats are--for most of us--pretty darn minor.  But many of us take those abundant blessings for granted.  How often, when you're complaining about taxes or waiting in line or your electric bill, do you stop to think how great it is that you can walk or see or hear, if you can?  Do you think about what your life might be like if you were homeless or friendless or schizophrenic, if you're not?  Have you thought about what it would be like to live in a place where there's oppression or genocide or constant warfare, if you don't?  Most of us don't really realize how good we have it until we stop to think about it, until we stop to think about what life could be like. 

So today, on Thanksgiving, really dig in.  And not just into the food.  When you go to count your blessings, really dig in and make a list that reflects how blessed you truly are.  Then pile up a heaping serving of gratitude, and enjoy.  Not just today, but every day.

A Challenge

Not every post will result in homework.  I promise.  Most will just be me ranting on one topic or another. :^P  This one really is worth doing, though.  The results will almost certainly surprise you.

Regardless of your beliefs, regardless of what political party--if any--or religion--if any--you belong to, regardless of how fervently you cling to those beliefs, I challenge you to do the following (and I can't take credit for this idea; it's an exercise that was presented to me a few years back, but it's a darn good one, so I'm passing it on):

Pick a topic on which you hold beliefs.  It can be any topic, as long as you believe something about that topic.  It would probably be good to start with a simple topic so that you can get the hang of the exercise before you tackle something more complex.

Beginning with your deepest-held, most core beliefs on that topic, write down your beliefs.  Work from those deepest, most core beliefs to the less deeply-rooted ones.  Write down every single belief on that topic that you hold and can bring to mind.  Be completely honest.  No one else ever has to see your list.  You can burn it after, if you like.  Or eat it.  Whatever you like.  If you're less than completely honest, you're just cheating yourself.  And who wants to cheat themselves, really?  We get enough of that elsewhere.  So do yourself a favor and be brutally honest with yourself.  It might be uncomfortable in the short term, but you'll thank yourself for it.

Once you feel as certain as you can that you've written down every belief, read through your list.

Do you like all your beliefs?  It may sound a strange question, but you might be surprised at how often the answer is "no."

Are your beliefs consistent with each other?  In other words, are there statements in your list that contradict each other?  If so, why?  And are you okay with the idea of living with those internal conflicts?

If you don't like some of your beliefs, of if you have conflicting beliefs and don't want to leave them that way, you may want to further analyze and possibly change some of your more superficial beliefs to be more in line with your core beliefs.

How do you change a belief?  Well, changing a core belief is difficult.  Our core beliefs are called core beliefs for a reason; they help make up the core of who we are as people.  The more superficial a belief is, though, the easier it is to change.  That's one reason why superficial beliefs get changed to line up with core beliefs and not the other way around.  We change superficial beliefs all the time; it's literally as simple as changing our minds.  Usually, if a superficial belief contradicts a core belief, just the awareness of that contradiction is enough to change the superficial belief...or to at least begin the process.

Getting rid of an old belief, though, is just part of it; the question is, what do you believe now?

The great thing about this exercise is that it can be done on a wide array of topics, and it can be repeated numerous times.  You can even perform the exercise on the same topic at certain intervals to see what may have changed.

You never know what's in your heart and mind until you look into it.  Most of us are too afraid of what's inside to look very closely.  Take the time to take a long, hard look.  See if you like what you see.  If not, change it.  You deserve to be someone you can be proud of.  And if you already are, there may be room for improvement.  If there's not, enjoy the validation and start teaching classes to us mere mortals. ;^P

Why?

You might ask, "Why are you adding your voice to the din?"

You might ask, "Why did you choose that name for your blog?"

Or you might wander right on by and not even notice me here. That's okay, too.

For any who might ask, here's what I might answer:

Everything we do matters. Every time we smile, every time we don't; every time we hold the door or let the person with one item go in front of us in the grocery line or speed up when someone turns on their blinker so they can't merge in front of us...everything matters.

Everything we do, everything we say, every choice we make or fail to make, it all matters.

It's all akin to Ray Bradbury and Edward Lorenz's hypothetical butterfly that flaps its wings and causes meteorological disasters. Darn thing. Someone needs to put that troublemaker in an insect collection somewhere.

But unlike that blasted butterfly, we have some control over the effects the flapping of our wings might have. Because we can choose how to flap our wings. And that makes all the difference.

So be aware of your wings. Be aware that each and every word and action is a flap of those wings, and that every flap has an effect. You might not see the effect, but you might indirectly bring about world peace...or a world war.  You just can never know.  So flap mindfully.