When we last discussed The Role of Words, we talked about how words are symbols and tools. Symbols in that each arrangement of letters is inherently meaningless until we collectively agree to assign it a meaning. Tools in that the words themselves are neither "good" nor "bad"; it's the intent with which they're wielded that can be designated as such.
In that post, we focused on the responsibility of the person or people receiving the message. But in any type of communication, there are two parties. The recipient of the message is just one of them. The sender of the message--the speaker--is the other. As you might expect, the speaker has his/her/their own set of responsibilities.
On Thursday, 400 Rabbis reminded us of these responsibilities when they printed an open letter calling for Glenn Beck to be sanctioned and for Roger Ailes to apologize...essentially for Beck's liberal and unapologetic use of words related to the Holocaust and the stance of both that it's perfectly okay for him to speak in such a manner.
As speakers, it's our responsibility to be aware of the words we use, to understand their denotation (or definition meaning) as well as their connotation. Because unlike physical tools such as a shovel, words can't simply be washed off after every use. The residue that clings to a word each time we pull it out of the toolbox builds up over time. In a few cases--like the Holocaust--no repeated usage of the word was needed to accrete a connotation; the blood and horror of the event thoroughly encrusted the word in what should have been such an appalling connotation that no one could ever forget it.
When we speak, if we're not mindful of both the denotation and the connotation of the words we use, we could find ourselves digging into some very unpleasant places. In some cases, the speaker may be misinformed about the proper usage of a word; in some cases there may be regional differences in meaning or other source of mutual misunderstanding, or the speaker simply may not care. In the worst cases, the speaker may intend to offend. Both of the latter two are completely unacceptable. Especially when speaking to a large audience, especially when you know you have massive numbers of people hanging onto your every word, you take your responsibility as a speaker seriously, and you speak mindfully and with respect for all people, whether you agree with them or not. To do less--regardless of audience size--is unethical.
This may seem to contradict my earlier post on the role of words. It's actually not contradictory; it's complementary. In communication, both sides have responsibilities. It's the responsibility of the listener to ensure his or her understanding of the speaker's intent and to not fly off the handle at an "offensive" word when no offense was intended. It's the responsibility of the speaker to do his or her best to select words that appropriately communicate the intended message and then, when possible, to check back with the listener to ensure that the message was received as intended. If misunderstanding exists, it can be resolved then and there before real trouble erupts.
An extreme perspective on the part of either the speaker or the listener sparks friction. When the listener demonizes words that are really neutral, that's a problem. When the speaker recklessly flings around words that are clearly and obviously negatively-charged, that's a problem as well.
As with pretty much everything in life, the key is twofold: be responsible for ourselves, and maintain balance. It not as easy as it sounds, but it really is that simple.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Hope
One of the many contributions of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was to offer hope, and hope is part of his legacy.
Hope is vital.
Without hope, without belief, it's impossible for anything to improve. Hope shows us how things can be, gives us something toward which to strive, gives us the strength and motivation to overcome obstacles and keep going when prospects look bleak, and bestows upon us the belief in ourselves and in our possible outcome that allow us to not only endure but to persevere and, hopefully, succeed.
Hope, literally, is life itself: true life, the life of caring, striving, seeking, believing. Without hope, we are lost, afloat, hollow shells.
This world can be discouraging; this world can make it a real challenge to hold onto our hope. But hope is our greatest treasure; when we possess it, when we have something to focus on and move toward, the tendrils can't pull us completely into the depths. When the light of hope still burns within us, the darkness of despair can never completely overcome us.
So tend to your hope as you would a fire in freezing weather when you had no other source of heat. Be mindful of the hope of others as well; handle it gently, build it and bolster it when you can.
Be honest, but be gentle, with others and with yourself. Hope is beautiful, delicate, and necessary, but delusion is toxic. Beware the difference.
Hope sustains us. As long as we have hope, we can have joy, even in the deepest depths. Hope is what allows us to follow the advice attributed to The Right Honourable Sir Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
I would say that hope is one of the things that make us human, but perhaps hope is more even than that; perhaps hope is Divine.
Hope is vital.
Without hope, without belief, it's impossible for anything to improve. Hope shows us how things can be, gives us something toward which to strive, gives us the strength and motivation to overcome obstacles and keep going when prospects look bleak, and bestows upon us the belief in ourselves and in our possible outcome that allow us to not only endure but to persevere and, hopefully, succeed.
Hope, literally, is life itself: true life, the life of caring, striving, seeking, believing. Without hope, we are lost, afloat, hollow shells.
This world can be discouraging; this world can make it a real challenge to hold onto our hope. But hope is our greatest treasure; when we possess it, when we have something to focus on and move toward, the tendrils can't pull us completely into the depths. When the light of hope still burns within us, the darkness of despair can never completely overcome us.
So tend to your hope as you would a fire in freezing weather when you had no other source of heat. Be mindful of the hope of others as well; handle it gently, build it and bolster it when you can.
Be honest, but be gentle, with others and with yourself. Hope is beautiful, delicate, and necessary, but delusion is toxic. Beware the difference.
Hope sustains us. As long as we have hope, we can have joy, even in the deepest depths. Hope is what allows us to follow the advice attributed to The Right Honourable Sir Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
I would say that hope is one of the things that make us human, but perhaps hope is more even than that; perhaps hope is Divine.
You Can Have a Dream, Too
Today in the U.S. is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
There are scads and gobs of sites, articles, reports, and shows who've all done a far better job than I could ever hope to do in celebrating the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his dedication, achievements, excellent qualities, and legacy. If you don't know about him, I urge you to seek out some sources. Learn about who he was, what he believed in, what he did, and be sure to listen to some of his speeches. He was a humbling, inspiring, charismatic, committed leader who worked fearlessly and tirelessly for the good of all people. The world is better for him having been in it, and I can only hope to learn from him and to begin to emulate some of his admirable characteristics. And that's exactly what this post is about.
We can't all be Dr. Kings. We're not all visionaries and moving orators; we won't all have a sweeping impact on an entire nation. But we can all have an effect on the world around us.
You may choose to dedicate yourself to a specific cause, something about which you feel passionate, and focus intensely on that. You may choose to focus on one area for a bit, switch to another, etc. You may just simply choose to do whatever you can in the moment to make the world a better place without honing in on any one specific cause. Whichever way you choose to go about it, any approach is great. Doing something is what's important; how you choose to go about it is entirely up to you.
However you choose to go about it, play to your strengths. Any skill or talent can be used to make things better. Help build/renovate/repair houses for the homeless or low-income families. Volunteer to be a teacher's aide, a tutor, or to help with after-school programs. Make food, and give it to the folks living on the street. Clean up a park. Visit a hospital or a nursing home. Sometimes just acknowledging someone's existence and smiling at them can have a significant impact. Or maybe the best thing you can do is focus on you for a while, such as admitting alcoholism and seeking help or learning how to manage stress better so you're able to treat yourself and others better. Being responsible for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to make the world a better place.
Whoever we are, whatever we know how to do, from whatever point we're starting, there's something we can do to improve the world around us; there's some way we can work in service for the good of all people. Our efforts don't have to be grand; they just have to be sincere. I think that's a legacy of which Dr. King would approve...at least, I hope it is.
There are scads and gobs of sites, articles, reports, and shows who've all done a far better job than I could ever hope to do in celebrating the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his dedication, achievements, excellent qualities, and legacy. If you don't know about him, I urge you to seek out some sources. Learn about who he was, what he believed in, what he did, and be sure to listen to some of his speeches. He was a humbling, inspiring, charismatic, committed leader who worked fearlessly and tirelessly for the good of all people. The world is better for him having been in it, and I can only hope to learn from him and to begin to emulate some of his admirable characteristics. And that's exactly what this post is about.
We can't all be Dr. Kings. We're not all visionaries and moving orators; we won't all have a sweeping impact on an entire nation. But we can all have an effect on the world around us.
You may choose to dedicate yourself to a specific cause, something about which you feel passionate, and focus intensely on that. You may choose to focus on one area for a bit, switch to another, etc. You may just simply choose to do whatever you can in the moment to make the world a better place without honing in on any one specific cause. Whichever way you choose to go about it, any approach is great. Doing something is what's important; how you choose to go about it is entirely up to you.
However you choose to go about it, play to your strengths. Any skill or talent can be used to make things better. Help build/renovate/repair houses for the homeless or low-income families. Volunteer to be a teacher's aide, a tutor, or to help with after-school programs. Make food, and give it to the folks living on the street. Clean up a park. Visit a hospital or a nursing home. Sometimes just acknowledging someone's existence and smiling at them can have a significant impact. Or maybe the best thing you can do is focus on you for a while, such as admitting alcoholism and seeking help or learning how to manage stress better so you're able to treat yourself and others better. Being responsible for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to make the world a better place.
Whoever we are, whatever we know how to do, from whatever point we're starting, there's something we can do to improve the world around us; there's some way we can work in service for the good of all people. Our efforts don't have to be grand; they just have to be sincere. I think that's a legacy of which Dr. King would approve...at least, I hope it is.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
How 'Bout We Take Some Responsibility?
(I try to avoid U.S.-centric posts because I like to be more universal, but sometimes you just gotta focus a little closer to home.)
There's been a lot of talk about the recent shooting spree in Arizona. As there should be.
There have been many fingers pointed. This is less helpful.
The problem isn't that the assertions being made are incorrect or irrelevant; many excellent insights have come from one side pointing the blame at the other; we'll talk more about some of those in a minute. The finger-pointing is less than helpful because the question is all wrong.
The question isn't, "How is everyone else responsible?" The question is, "In what ways have my actions/words and the actions/words of the organizations I support contributed to this outcome?" In other words, instead of working as hard as possible to shirk responsibility and shift blame onto someone else, we should all be asking ourselves in what ways we're responsible for the current state of affairs in which such events occur. We need to stop asking, "How can I make this their fault?" and start asking, "In what way is this my fault?" That's the only way we're ever going to get anywhere.
Because we're all part of this society to some extent, and we can make things better, let them stay the same, or make them worse.
You may be saying, "I had nothing to do with that guy! I live nowhere near Arizona!" But just because you or I didn't bully him in school or suspect him of having mental health issues and neglect to help him doesn't mean we haven't in some way contributed to the current milieu in which such events occur.
The shooting in Arizona was not the first such event we've seen. And yet, so many people seem so shocked. How can that be?
I know it's easier to believe that events like Columbine and Virginia Tech were just isolated incidents, the result of the perpetrator's mental illness or having been the victim of bullying. But surely anyone who allows themselves to think about it even a little realizes that mental illness and bullying really aren't terribly rare, and they certainly don't disappear from the world just because someone shoots some people.
After such incidents, there's a flurry of discussion on topics such as gun control, mental illness, bullying, the gun culture in our country, whether violent images in our culture are creating violent impulses, etc. But once the furor dies down after such an incident, conversations stop, attention gets focused elsewhere, very little--if any--change occurs, and people mostly seem to forget...and then seem dumbfounded when it happens again. Would it be rude of me to scream, "WAKE UP!" at this point?
Three points need to be made.
First, anyone who thinks there's only one single cause for any human action more complex than fulfilling basic biological needs lives in a children's book. People are neither that simple nor straightforward. If they were, the field of psychology would have no need to exist, and Aspies like me wouldn't be so darn confused so much of the time. Moreover, anyone who thinks there's one single, easily-identifiable reason for one person to shoot a bunch of other people (and sometimes themselves) is either in serious denial or is flat-out delusional. If the decision between oatmeal and a doughnut for breakfast becomes a theater for actors like desire, guilt, determination, societal pressure to look good, the allure of instant gratification, concerns regarding health, concerns regarding money, anxiety, a bundle of tangled perspectives on self-perception, etc., how in the world can a shooting be a single-cause action?!? Srsly.
Second, these things that people discuss in the wake of such events need to be discussed. It would have been nice if we could have paid some attention to things what needed fixed before someone started blasting away, but since it's far and away too late to keep THAT from happening, how's about we make sure we keep up the discussion this time long enough to resolve some things?
To hold public office is to be in service of the people. At least that's the theory, the actual point of the office. All too often these days, in practice, to hold public office is to become a buffoon dancing in "service" to some rabid agenda that actually serves neither the people nor any function and doesn't even make sense. It's just another form of sensationalist entertainment...which is highly offensive, since these people are supposed to be the stewards of a great nation. Instead, they degrade and humiliate us.
To paraphrase both The Bible and President Abraham Lincoln, "a house divided cannot stand." Conservative, liberal, right, left, Republican, Democrat, Tea...anyone who's "on a side", anyone who's calling names, pointing fingers, jumping up and down in righteous indignation at "them", YOU are the problem. Are we not all Americans? (Which is odd, really...there are three entire continents with "America" in the name; how is it that people from the U.S. are the "Americans"?) Should we not all be pulling together to make our country great, to make the U.S. a nation of which we can be proud? Are we truly not better than all these shenanigans and all this sensationalism, bickering, rhetoric, vitriol, hate, and downright crazy-eyed brainless ridiculousness? Are we sheep, powerless to do anything but placidly "baaaa" when the buffoons with their nonsense speeches rant about waging war on each other? Are we clamping our hands over our eyes and ears and filling our brains with the equivalent of junk food so we don't have to let ourselves be struck by who and what we have become as a country? If, instead of chasing individual glory as politicians or parties, elected officials focused on serving the people, on solving problems, on working together to create solutions, if all the time, money, effort, and resources that get poured into mudslinging, backbiting, throat tearing, grandstanding, and prancing about like peacocks instead got funneled into--oh, I dunno--elected officials actually doing their jobs, can you IMAGINE what could be accomplished? Instead of a bunch of hot air and empty promises in expensive suits, we could actually start to see results.
But here's the thing.
The shenanigans happen because we let them happen. No, we encourage them to happen. We buy into the sensationalism. We get all rabid right along with the buffoons. We watch/listen to their shows. We listen to their speeches and read their articles. We lap up their every secretion and beg for more. We give them money. We vote for them. We wave signs and cheer at the rallies of ones we support; we wave signs and yell in protest at the rallies of ones we oppose. We obediently play the role of pawn and puppet in their little power struggles with each other...and we love it. Well, okay, not all of us do those things. But enough of us do them that the buffoons continue to be successful, that the hate and divisiveness continue to be pervasive.
I'm sorry, folks, but letting our lives become a reality TV show for entertainment while real people really get hurt by it--and I don't just mean the people who get shot, or who die in terrorist attacks, or even those who die fighting in wars, but ALL of us, because we're all being hurt by it, especially our children--is NOT okay. We seriously need to grow up, stop letting ourselves get carried away by the adrenaline rush of the rabid hate machine, think about the fact that "the enemy" are people just like us--AMERICANS just like us--who want to be happy and avoid pain, who love their kids and love their spouse and love their pet, who go to work every day, who may very well like to do the same things you like or like the same foods as you. We're all on the same team. It's like the Dallas Cowboys playing against themselves; it makes no sense...for one thing, if their team was divided, it wouldn't be as strong, right? See what I'm getting at here? We're all one team, and different folks have different outlooks for a reason, same as the quarterback and tight end have different jobs on the field. The more different perspectives you have on a problem--IF the people with those perspectives can work together instead of against each other--the stronger and more viable of a solution they can create.
We're THE UNITED STATES, for goodness' sake. We're the home of the Declaration of Independence and the Founding Fathers and "American ingenuity" and "American spirit" and all sorts of legendary people and traits. And this circus is what we've come to? Surely not. It sickens me to think that good men and women are giving their lives to fight for our freedom, and this is what we choose to do with it. It's not right.
We can be better. So be better. Take responsibility. Demand accountability. Let's take care of ourselves; let's take care of each other; let's solve some problems. Let's remind the world--and ourselves--who we really are. We're the UNITED States. Let's get to work on re-familiarizing ourselves with the "united" part of that, shall we?
There's been a lot of talk about the recent shooting spree in Arizona. As there should be.
There have been many fingers pointed. This is less helpful.
The problem isn't that the assertions being made are incorrect or irrelevant; many excellent insights have come from one side pointing the blame at the other; we'll talk more about some of those in a minute. The finger-pointing is less than helpful because the question is all wrong.
The question isn't, "How is everyone else responsible?" The question is, "In what ways have my actions/words and the actions/words of the organizations I support contributed to this outcome?" In other words, instead of working as hard as possible to shirk responsibility and shift blame onto someone else, we should all be asking ourselves in what ways we're responsible for the current state of affairs in which such events occur. We need to stop asking, "How can I make this their fault?" and start asking, "In what way is this my fault?" That's the only way we're ever going to get anywhere.
Because we're all part of this society to some extent, and we can make things better, let them stay the same, or make them worse.
You may be saying, "I had nothing to do with that guy! I live nowhere near Arizona!" But just because you or I didn't bully him in school or suspect him of having mental health issues and neglect to help him doesn't mean we haven't in some way contributed to the current milieu in which such events occur.
The shooting in Arizona was not the first such event we've seen. And yet, so many people seem so shocked. How can that be?
I know it's easier to believe that events like Columbine and Virginia Tech were just isolated incidents, the result of the perpetrator's mental illness or having been the victim of bullying. But surely anyone who allows themselves to think about it even a little realizes that mental illness and bullying really aren't terribly rare, and they certainly don't disappear from the world just because someone shoots some people.
After such incidents, there's a flurry of discussion on topics such as gun control, mental illness, bullying, the gun culture in our country, whether violent images in our culture are creating violent impulses, etc. But once the furor dies down after such an incident, conversations stop, attention gets focused elsewhere, very little--if any--change occurs, and people mostly seem to forget...and then seem dumbfounded when it happens again. Would it be rude of me to scream, "WAKE UP!" at this point?
Three points need to be made.
First, anyone who thinks there's only one single cause for any human action more complex than fulfilling basic biological needs lives in a children's book. People are neither that simple nor straightforward. If they were, the field of psychology would have no need to exist, and Aspies like me wouldn't be so darn confused so much of the time. Moreover, anyone who thinks there's one single, easily-identifiable reason for one person to shoot a bunch of other people (and sometimes themselves) is either in serious denial or is flat-out delusional. If the decision between oatmeal and a doughnut for breakfast becomes a theater for actors like desire, guilt, determination, societal pressure to look good, the allure of instant gratification, concerns regarding health, concerns regarding money, anxiety, a bundle of tangled perspectives on self-perception, etc., how in the world can a shooting be a single-cause action?!? Srsly.
Second, these things that people discuss in the wake of such events need to be discussed. It would have been nice if we could have paid some attention to things what needed fixed before someone started blasting away, but since it's far and away too late to keep THAT from happening, how's about we make sure we keep up the discussion this time long enough to resolve some things?
- Mental Health Issues - We need more readily available and less costly mental health support in this country. We need to find out what's actually going on with folks before either blowing them off or shoving a pill--or five--down their throats. And we need to work together to remove the stigma associated with seeking help for mental health issues.
- Gun Control - An extremist point of view on either end of this issue is irresponsible. Adult individuals have the right to make their own choice regarding whether or not they wish to own firearms. Not only would taking away that right not solve the root causes of the real problems, it would cause new problems. Letting any adult walk into a store where firearms are sold, however, and almost immediately walk out with a high-capacity semiautomatic weapon is so incredibly irresponsible, arrogant, and infuriatingly idiotic there simply aren't words to express the reprehensibility of such brazen disregard and negligence. Requiring a concealed carry class/qualification/certification, a background check, waiting period, and registration/license are all excellent ways to help increase firearm responsibility and safety. Reinstating the assault weapons ban or passing similar legislation would help reduce the number of casualties when shootings do occur. It's a lot harder to shoot 30 people before being interrupted if your firearm only holds 10 rounds instead of 32; reloading takes at least a little time.
- Bullying - There have been some excellent discussions recently regarding bullying. They're decades overdue. Bullying is two things: 1) unacceptable, 2) something kids learn from their parents. Parents, if you haven't figured it out by now, your kids hear and see everything. No, not like you hear and see everything they do. They really hear and see everything. Because they're small and unobtrusive and sometimes beneath notice or lurking just out of sight, or maybe you don't realize how loud your voice is or how keen their hearing is or how much they really are paying attention even if they seem to be focusing on something else. So when you're posturing aggressively and talking hate and trash about someone, expressing your frustrations by recounting all the things you're going to do to someone, etc., they're learning from you how to treat people. Kids are "monkey see, monkey do", and you may not even realize what they've seen or heard until it comes back to haunt you. Be careful what you do and say. Tone of voice? Facial expressions? Think they're too subtle for your child to pick up on them? Wrong. They soak up everything. You have to be better than you are so they can be better than you are. Don't just be mindful of the example you set; be terrified of the example you could set if you aren't mindful.
- Violent Images, Music, etc. - I'm laying another one on you, parents. Your children see the world the way they do because that's what you've taught them. Either by actively informing and shaping them or by "teaching" them through neglect--you're still teaching them, just nothing good--or something in between, you're the ones who mold their perspective and values. Some of your children will assert their independence, break from your beliefs, and seek their own. Some never will. Regardless, the initial structure you provide them creates the framework for the rest of their lives: how they view themselves, other people, and the world around them; how they learn, grow, and develop; how they interact with other people and their world, who they eventually become. They process music, movies, TV, video games, etc. through the filters that your instruction builds. They choose what they watch, listen to, and play because they've grown into those choices from building on the foundation you've created for them. If you've taught your children well and given them a solid foundation and framework, they'll make good choices, and regardless of what they may watch, listen to, or play, they'll be good people. You absolutely CANNOT rely on the educational system, the government, television, movies, music, or any other source to teach your children how to be good people. It is ALL on you. Too many parents like to foist that responsibility--or, more often, blame when something goes wrong--on someone or something else, doing things like suing schools or game manufacturers when their children "go wrong." But that's a cop out, and it not only hurts your child, it's hurting everyone else's children, too. Grow up, take responsibility, and be parents to your children. Anyone who can't or isn't willing to do that shouldn't have them in the first place.
- Gun Culture/Political Vitriol - People are saying it's unfair to blame Sarah Palin and her crosshair/gun sights map that targeted 20 Democrats and used terms such as "reload," "aim," and "salvo," or Jesse Kelly and his "Get on Target for Victory in November/Help Remove Gabrielle Giffords from Office/Shoot a Fully Automatic M16 with Jesse Kelly" event in June, or Sharron Angle and her "Second Amendment remedies", or Sean Hannity, Rep. Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck, or any of the hate-mongering herd, regardless of party affiliation. And in a way, they're right. As Henry Rollins has pointed out, all the vitriol-spewing in the world wouldn't make a bit of difference if people just stopped listening to the sources of it. But since people do listen, and since it's clear that not everyone is the picture of mental health and stability, don't you think perhaps it would have been a good idea for these folks to consider that their diarrhea of the mouth might have ramifications? You'd think that folks like Sarah Palin and Jesse Kelly would think (okay, I could stop the sentence there) that someone might take their rhetoric literally and go, well, on a shooting spree. Or you'd at least think they'd consider how it might come back to reflect on them if their target(s) actually ended up being shot. The sad thing is, they very well may have considered those things. Bad publicity is still publicity, after all, and is often, sadly, just as good as good publicity. And, to some people, sickeningly enough, being associated with the attempted assassination of a liberal is good publicity. I'd certainly hope that being associated with the death of six people, including a child, isn't considered good publicity by anyone. If it is, I honestly don't want to know.
To hold public office is to be in service of the people. At least that's the theory, the actual point of the office. All too often these days, in practice, to hold public office is to become a buffoon dancing in "service" to some rabid agenda that actually serves neither the people nor any function and doesn't even make sense. It's just another form of sensationalist entertainment...which is highly offensive, since these people are supposed to be the stewards of a great nation. Instead, they degrade and humiliate us.
To paraphrase both The Bible and President Abraham Lincoln, "a house divided cannot stand." Conservative, liberal, right, left, Republican, Democrat, Tea...anyone who's "on a side", anyone who's calling names, pointing fingers, jumping up and down in righteous indignation at "them", YOU are the problem. Are we not all Americans? (Which is odd, really...there are three entire continents with "America" in the name; how is it that people from the U.S. are the "Americans"?) Should we not all be pulling together to make our country great, to make the U.S. a nation of which we can be proud? Are we truly not better than all these shenanigans and all this sensationalism, bickering, rhetoric, vitriol, hate, and downright crazy-eyed brainless ridiculousness? Are we sheep, powerless to do anything but placidly "baaaa" when the buffoons with their nonsense speeches rant about waging war on each other? Are we clamping our hands over our eyes and ears and filling our brains with the equivalent of junk food so we don't have to let ourselves be struck by who and what we have become as a country? If, instead of chasing individual glory as politicians or parties, elected officials focused on serving the people, on solving problems, on working together to create solutions, if all the time, money, effort, and resources that get poured into mudslinging, backbiting, throat tearing, grandstanding, and prancing about like peacocks instead got funneled into--oh, I dunno--elected officials actually doing their jobs, can you IMAGINE what could be accomplished? Instead of a bunch of hot air and empty promises in expensive suits, we could actually start to see results.
But here's the thing.
The shenanigans happen because we let them happen. No, we encourage them to happen. We buy into the sensationalism. We get all rabid right along with the buffoons. We watch/listen to their shows. We listen to their speeches and read their articles. We lap up their every secretion and beg for more. We give them money. We vote for them. We wave signs and cheer at the rallies of ones we support; we wave signs and yell in protest at the rallies of ones we oppose. We obediently play the role of pawn and puppet in their little power struggles with each other...and we love it. Well, okay, not all of us do those things. But enough of us do them that the buffoons continue to be successful, that the hate and divisiveness continue to be pervasive.
I'm sorry, folks, but letting our lives become a reality TV show for entertainment while real people really get hurt by it--and I don't just mean the people who get shot, or who die in terrorist attacks, or even those who die fighting in wars, but ALL of us, because we're all being hurt by it, especially our children--is NOT okay. We seriously need to grow up, stop letting ourselves get carried away by the adrenaline rush of the rabid hate machine, think about the fact that "the enemy" are people just like us--AMERICANS just like us--who want to be happy and avoid pain, who love their kids and love their spouse and love their pet, who go to work every day, who may very well like to do the same things you like or like the same foods as you. We're all on the same team. It's like the Dallas Cowboys playing against themselves; it makes no sense...for one thing, if their team was divided, it wouldn't be as strong, right? See what I'm getting at here? We're all one team, and different folks have different outlooks for a reason, same as the quarterback and tight end have different jobs on the field. The more different perspectives you have on a problem--IF the people with those perspectives can work together instead of against each other--the stronger and more viable of a solution they can create.
We're THE UNITED STATES, for goodness' sake. We're the home of the Declaration of Independence and the Founding Fathers and "American ingenuity" and "American spirit" and all sorts of legendary people and traits. And this circus is what we've come to? Surely not. It sickens me to think that good men and women are giving their lives to fight for our freedom, and this is what we choose to do with it. It's not right.
We can be better. So be better. Take responsibility. Demand accountability. Let's take care of ourselves; let's take care of each other; let's solve some problems. Let's remind the world--and ourselves--who we really are. We're the UNITED States. Let's get to work on re-familiarizing ourselves with the "united" part of that, shall we?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Resolve This!
(LOL I entered the title and got an error: "Your request could not be processed.")
Apologies to my Facebook friends who've already seen some of this content. :)
This is the time of year when folks get all excited about having a fresh calendar and ask questions like, "What are your New Year's resolutions?" I often get a look of either disdain or stupefaction when I reply that I stopped making New Year's resolutions decades ago.
Why? Well, we all joke about one of the reasons why: like pretty much everyone else, I never kept them. If I was really good, I'd make it into mid-March or so, but that was exceedingly rare. Most resolutions made it a week or two; some didn't even last that long. Regardless of how long I persevered, eventually I'd slip, and that was a let-down which led to a feeling of failure.
I suppose I could have solved the issue by making resolutions like, "I resolve to eat food sometimes." But that seems rather pointless, and I think if I was asked what my resolutions were, and if they were things like that, I'd decline to disclose them. :P
So these days I take a different tack: I try to work on making myself a better person every day. By now you're probably all familiar with my belief that instead of setting aside one day a year for certain things--like setting resolutions--we should carry the spirit of our remembrances, honors, and celebrations within us every day. In that respect, I adhere more to the Ancient Egyptian concept of Zep Tepi (a concept introduced here), in which each sunrise, each moment is Creation renewed and a new beginning. So instead of just one day a year being a designated time to make resolutions, every moment of every day is the perfect moment to make a new resolution, a fresh start, and a new beginning; each second is a moment bursting with potential and promise.
It's taken decades, but I've finally gotten smarter about the goals I set for myself. I've stopped trying to go from unhewn stone to a masterfully-crafted representation of Aphrodite in one cut of the chisel. I've finally (mostly) learned to set one small, realistic goal at a time on which to really focus. If I try to divide my energies, discipline, and focus too much, I'll stretch myself too thin and fizzle, or--worse--rebound in the opposite direction. For example, if I try to focus on exercising more, eating better, and organizing my living space all at the same time (that's too many goals at once, and the goals are far too vague), I'll probably either just give up out of discouragement or exhaustion and go back to my normal routine or end up laying on the couch eating bonbons, watching TV, and tossing the wrappers on the floor. Ok, I don't eat bonbons or watch any TV that doesn't come on DVD, so that's a highly unlikely scenario...do bonbons even come in wrappers to toss on the floor? >.> But you get the idea. :)
Goals need to be realistic and specific. Don't say, "I'm going to eat better." Instead, say something like, "I'm going eat one more serving of vegetables a day than I've been eating." And once you've got that down pat, pick a new goal.
As we've discussed before, it's more difficult to cut out negative things than it is to add something positive into your life. But if you want to stop smoking, for instance, your goal is to cut something out. Don't focus on just stopping, though; instead of simply cutting out smoking, replace it with something else. That way, you won't be as tempted to fill the empty hole that was smoking by taking up smoking again. What you replace it with will depend on what works for you. You might need a different source of nicotine like "the patch" to help you quit, or you might need something else to replace the oral fixation, or it might be enough to reward yourself with something you love every time you don't smoke. Part of knowing what will work for you will be understanding why you smoked. Was it simply a nicotine addiction? Was it for socialization? Fill whatever need that smoking filled with something else, and it will be easier--note that I didn't say "easy"--to quit.
Put some thought into your goals. Be realistic. Be aware of how your mind and body work. Plan, prepare, and be patient. I'm not good at patient, but I've finally learned that when I try to push myself too hard and too fast, I'll end up backsliding more, and it'll end up taking far longer to get where I want to go than if I'd just taken it at a reasonable pace from the beginning.
I've also finally learned to recognize setbacks as learning opportunities. Instead of something to beat myself up about, they're chances to figure out where I went wrong and how to do better next time. They say we learn by making mistakes...I guess I've learned a lot. ;) But there's always so much more to learn.
Be aware of your self-talk. You can always find excuses not to. Whatever goal you set, you have to really want it, and you have to really believe it, sometimes against your own will. :) Sometimes you really have to psych yourself out to overcome the excuses and the "I can't" blahs, but if it's really something you want, you'll be able to do it, and you'll be glad you did.
At the same time, don't be too hard on yourself. Be able to recognize when you've come up against a true limitation, and when you do, be gentle and patient and understanding. Sometimes the limitation will be temporary, like a sprained ankle keeping you from going out to jog. Sometimes the limitation will be more long-term. Don't give up. If the road's blocked, see if there's another route to the same destination.
If there are people in your life who are anything other than supportive of your goal, either communicate with them to improve the situation or ignore their negative feedback and find people who will support you in your goal. Change is hard enough without other people making it more difficult.
There's more to the process of making oneself a better person day by day than focusing on diet, exercise, living space, budget, employment, and all the "usual suspects" for New Year's resolutions. There's also the entire realm of values and character into which one can dive. A goal could be to make a point of being thankful for something every single day, to do something nice for someone every day--even small things like holding the door open, smiling, greeting someone, or giving someone a genuine compliment--to make a point of considering situations from the other person's point of view before passing judgment, or to foster impeccable honesty. There's also the world of service; one could volunteer regularly at a shelter, help build homes for the homeless, clean up local parks, etc.
If we view every day as a new chance to make a resolution instead of waiting for the year to change to make a huge list of goals we most likely won't accomplish, we can constantly challenge ourselves to achieve new and exciting things. When every day is a new beginning, there's a pervasive sense of eagerness and celebration. When every day is a new beginning, we constantly embrace life and make the most of it, climbing higher and higher each day.
So maybe instead of New Year's resolutions we should have new beginnings resolutions...because they come far more often than just once a year; they're constant, in fact.
Happy new beginnings to you!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Role of Words
It has been said that words have power, that words are power. And they can be. But I maintain it is not the words themselves that carry the power; the true power is in the intent behind the words when they are used and the power given to the words when they are received.
Words are symbols. Like all symbols, words are meaningless until we cooperatively agree to assign to them a meaning. That meaning may vary from region to region, from person to person, or change with the passage of time.
Words are tools. Tools are meant to be placed in our hands and wielded by us with intent. Tools are not meant to make us cower in a corner, terrified and bewildered by their power.
For over a decade, I've raised the ire of a good number of my feminist friends because of my stance on words. I have no problem with words like "chairman" or "postman" being used to denote either a male or female committee chair or postal worker. I also have no problem with dichotomous terms like "actor" and "actress" or "waiter" and "waitress". But it's usually the former that really raises the hackles of the feminists.
My logic on this point is twofold. First, take a look at the words. Human, man, woman. Happen to notice anything in common there? The use of the same three letters that are used in all three terms is discriminatory how, exactly? Only by--and this leads us to my second point--intent. If we allow terms like "chairman" to be sexist, if we give them that kind of power--which I happen to think is dangerous; there's already enough out there that has enough power that can be used against us without us weaponizing words to be used against ourselves as well--then they become sexist terms. Otherwise, they're just words. What's important is the intent with which they're said.
If anyone really thinks that changing language from "chairman" to "chairperson" is going to change societal attitudes toward women, then they must think that changing from a parka into a bikini will change winter to summer. The entire approach is backwards. The words are simply indicators of underlying attitudes. Changing the indicators has no effect on the attitudes; if anything, bickering over what is, in my opinion, the small stuff only serves to worsen the problem. If women want sexism to go away, then we have to stop focusing on possible symptoms like the words and start focusing on the causes of sexism, which lie on both sides of the fence. Yes, ladies, if we want sexism to go away, we have to change some things about ourselves, too, because sexism isn't just perpetuated by the men. But I'm getting off-topic, and that's a whoooole different can of worms for another day.
In our politically-correct culture, some of the euphemistic terms we've devised to refer to certain groups of people actually serve to segregate and dehumanize them more than plain language would. I'm mostly thinking of the language surrounding disabilities, but the same point can apply elsewhere as well. People worry so much about using the wrong term or not knowing the "right" term that instead of seeing the other person simply as another person, both different and similar to themselves just like every other person is, they focus on the differences and the labels. We gingerly handle like porcelain dolls those who are different lest we offend, and yet in doing so, we mutely parade about with wild gesticulation the fact that "you are not like us!!!!!" If your intent is to respect a person for who they are, then respect a person for who they are, don't make up a bunch of terms and language rules that only serve to accentuate the differences and exacerbate the problem of people not knowing how to integrate with the person who's different.
Race is an arena in which we've seen some pretty extensive changes in the use of language. The difference in race relations between 1865 and today, however, did not come about because someone decided racial slurs were bad. Racial slurs have fallen out of favor as much as they have because--through the sacrifice, determined effort, bravery, and dedication of many people throughout many decades--race relations have changed. And there's still more work to be done.
That brings me to the news story that sparked today's post. For anyone who chooses to not click on the link and read for themselves, here's the gist of it: a Mark Twain scholar and English professor at Auburn University is releasing a new version of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn which has been edited to replace all instances of the highly-offensive racial slur often referred to as "the 'n' word" with the word "slave".
I get why he's doing it. Way back in the dark ages when I was in elementary school and that was one of my favorite books, I was incensed because of the news stories I heard about schools and libraries banning the book. "It's a satire!" I protested. "The entire point is to show the ignorance of racism and that a person's skin color has no bearing on their worth!" But it seems that a lot of folks don't get Twain's intention. Or are afraid that someone else won't.
I remember once, when I was reading aloud from the book, I couldn't actually say the word in question. I don't know that I've actually ever said that word in my life, and I have no intention of doing so; although it's used as slang with a different intention now, to me it still means what it used to mean, and I stand against everything that word meant. So if I have any say in the matter--no pun intended--that word will never cross my lips. But you want to know one reason why that is? Because, when I was at the age where kids start to notice that some people are different, I read that book. And I understood what Twain was getting at. It made sense.
I know full well that not everyone who reads the book will understand the intent of it. There are plenty of adults who seem to miss the point, and I'm sure the odds of understanding aren't going to increase as the age range decreases. However, a major part of the value of the story is the excellent teaching opportunity it gives, not just on issues of race but also on how race relations have evolved. Obviously, I was not alive in 1885 when the book was first published to see how things were then. I was not alive to see the efforts of Rosa Parks or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or to see how things were then. I do remember how things were when I was a child, and I do see that things have changed for the better.
I understand wanting to protect one's children from ugliness. But overprotecting a child does them more harm than good. Sheltering them from ugliness doesn't make the ugliness go away, and they'll encounter it eventually. Best that they be prepared.
I understand wanting to promote better race relations. And that's exactly why this revision is a bad idea. In order to better understand the importance of racial equality, in order to gain a sense of how the civil rights movement has developed over time, in order to understand what was/has been/is/will be at stake, in order to understand what has happened and what has been done, today's children need to see where we came from, where we've been, the road we've taken, from whence it came and to where it can lead. Denying that the egregious racism of the past happened is an offense and an affront to everyone who suffered at the hands of that racism and to everyone who's suffered at the hands of it since. Don't hide the ugly truth. The ugly truth has to be revealed, has to be discussed and understood for what it is, has to teach our children the vital lessons we've learned over the past century plus.
In the words of George Santayana, which I'm sure we've all heard, but which ring true all the same, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." The state of affairs portrayed in the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is something that should NEVER be repeated; it should have never come to pass in the first place. Teach our children why. Teach our children so they can keep us moving toward racial equality.
Words. In a good number of cultures, words were considered to be magic. And there is magic in words. Like magic in the hands of a witch, words can be used for good or for ill, to bless or to curse. Words can be used to empower or enslave us, to unite or divide us, to obscure or reveal the truth, to obfuscate or illuminate understanding. It seems to me that our society's relationship with words is headed in the wrong direction. All the while thinking we're using them to accomplish one goal, we're actually accomplishing precisely the opposite. We're agitating sexism, accentuating differences, and perpetuating racism. Surely we're smarter than that. Words are tools in our hands. Let's use them instead of them using us. Let's use them to make our world better. Let's use them to make ourselves better.
I'd like to mention that, while in this post I discuss sexism from the point of view of discrimination against women, that's solely because I'm discussing it in the context of having angered some of my feminist friends. Sexism goes both ways. Anyone who disputes the idea, consider the following four examples that I can quickly think of off the top of my head: 1) Men can get drafted; women can't. 2) If a girl wants to play sports or read comic books, that's totally cool. If a boy wants to play with dolls or take ballet classes? At least around these parts, Hank Hill best expresses the prevailing attitude, "That boy ain't right." 3) Typically, women can express a wider range of emotions in a wider range of situations and remain socially acceptable than men can. I could be missing something, but I don't think we're to a place yet where men tearing up at a Hallmark commercial would be viewed as commonplace. 4) It's far more socially acceptable for a woman to be a stay-at-home parent or spouse than it is for a man. Sexism is a complicated problem with complex causes, and the answers aren't nearly as simple as most of the folks I've heard speak on the subject seem to think. A large part of the answer involves reframing the way we consider the situation. But again, that's another topic for another day.
Words are symbols. Like all symbols, words are meaningless until we cooperatively agree to assign to them a meaning. That meaning may vary from region to region, from person to person, or change with the passage of time.
Words are tools. Tools are meant to be placed in our hands and wielded by us with intent. Tools are not meant to make us cower in a corner, terrified and bewildered by their power.
For over a decade, I've raised the ire of a good number of my feminist friends because of my stance on words. I have no problem with words like "chairman" or "postman" being used to denote either a male or female committee chair or postal worker. I also have no problem with dichotomous terms like "actor" and "actress" or "waiter" and "waitress". But it's usually the former that really raises the hackles of the feminists.
My logic on this point is twofold. First, take a look at the words. Human, man, woman. Happen to notice anything in common there? The use of the same three letters that are used in all three terms is discriminatory how, exactly? Only by--and this leads us to my second point--intent. If we allow terms like "chairman" to be sexist, if we give them that kind of power--which I happen to think is dangerous; there's already enough out there that has enough power that can be used against us without us weaponizing words to be used against ourselves as well--then they become sexist terms. Otherwise, they're just words. What's important is the intent with which they're said.
If anyone really thinks that changing language from "chairman" to "chairperson" is going to change societal attitudes toward women, then they must think that changing from a parka into a bikini will change winter to summer. The entire approach is backwards. The words are simply indicators of underlying attitudes. Changing the indicators has no effect on the attitudes; if anything, bickering over what is, in my opinion, the small stuff only serves to worsen the problem. If women want sexism to go away, then we have to stop focusing on possible symptoms like the words and start focusing on the causes of sexism, which lie on both sides of the fence. Yes, ladies, if we want sexism to go away, we have to change some things about ourselves, too, because sexism isn't just perpetuated by the men. But I'm getting off-topic, and that's a whoooole different can of worms for another day.
In our politically-correct culture, some of the euphemistic terms we've devised to refer to certain groups of people actually serve to segregate and dehumanize them more than plain language would. I'm mostly thinking of the language surrounding disabilities, but the same point can apply elsewhere as well. People worry so much about using the wrong term or not knowing the "right" term that instead of seeing the other person simply as another person, both different and similar to themselves just like every other person is, they focus on the differences and the labels. We gingerly handle like porcelain dolls those who are different lest we offend, and yet in doing so, we mutely parade about with wild gesticulation the fact that "you are not like us!!!!!" If your intent is to respect a person for who they are, then respect a person for who they are, don't make up a bunch of terms and language rules that only serve to accentuate the differences and exacerbate the problem of people not knowing how to integrate with the person who's different.
Race is an arena in which we've seen some pretty extensive changes in the use of language. The difference in race relations between 1865 and today, however, did not come about because someone decided racial slurs were bad. Racial slurs have fallen out of favor as much as they have because--through the sacrifice, determined effort, bravery, and dedication of many people throughout many decades--race relations have changed. And there's still more work to be done.
That brings me to the news story that sparked today's post. For anyone who chooses to not click on the link and read for themselves, here's the gist of it: a Mark Twain scholar and English professor at Auburn University is releasing a new version of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn which has been edited to replace all instances of the highly-offensive racial slur often referred to as "the 'n' word" with the word "slave".
I get why he's doing it. Way back in the dark ages when I was in elementary school and that was one of my favorite books, I was incensed because of the news stories I heard about schools and libraries banning the book. "It's a satire!" I protested. "The entire point is to show the ignorance of racism and that a person's skin color has no bearing on their worth!" But it seems that a lot of folks don't get Twain's intention. Or are afraid that someone else won't.
I remember once, when I was reading aloud from the book, I couldn't actually say the word in question. I don't know that I've actually ever said that word in my life, and I have no intention of doing so; although it's used as slang with a different intention now, to me it still means what it used to mean, and I stand against everything that word meant. So if I have any say in the matter--no pun intended--that word will never cross my lips. But you want to know one reason why that is? Because, when I was at the age where kids start to notice that some people are different, I read that book. And I understood what Twain was getting at. It made sense.
I know full well that not everyone who reads the book will understand the intent of it. There are plenty of adults who seem to miss the point, and I'm sure the odds of understanding aren't going to increase as the age range decreases. However, a major part of the value of the story is the excellent teaching opportunity it gives, not just on issues of race but also on how race relations have evolved. Obviously, I was not alive in 1885 when the book was first published to see how things were then. I was not alive to see the efforts of Rosa Parks or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or to see how things were then. I do remember how things were when I was a child, and I do see that things have changed for the better.
I understand wanting to protect one's children from ugliness. But overprotecting a child does them more harm than good. Sheltering them from ugliness doesn't make the ugliness go away, and they'll encounter it eventually. Best that they be prepared.
I understand wanting to promote better race relations. And that's exactly why this revision is a bad idea. In order to better understand the importance of racial equality, in order to gain a sense of how the civil rights movement has developed over time, in order to understand what was/has been/is/will be at stake, in order to understand what has happened and what has been done, today's children need to see where we came from, where we've been, the road we've taken, from whence it came and to where it can lead. Denying that the egregious racism of the past happened is an offense and an affront to everyone who suffered at the hands of that racism and to everyone who's suffered at the hands of it since. Don't hide the ugly truth. The ugly truth has to be revealed, has to be discussed and understood for what it is, has to teach our children the vital lessons we've learned over the past century plus.
In the words of George Santayana, which I'm sure we've all heard, but which ring true all the same, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." The state of affairs portrayed in the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is something that should NEVER be repeated; it should have never come to pass in the first place. Teach our children why. Teach our children so they can keep us moving toward racial equality.
Words. In a good number of cultures, words were considered to be magic. And there is magic in words. Like magic in the hands of a witch, words can be used for good or for ill, to bless or to curse. Words can be used to empower or enslave us, to unite or divide us, to obscure or reveal the truth, to obfuscate or illuminate understanding. It seems to me that our society's relationship with words is headed in the wrong direction. All the while thinking we're using them to accomplish one goal, we're actually accomplishing precisely the opposite. We're agitating sexism, accentuating differences, and perpetuating racism. Surely we're smarter than that. Words are tools in our hands. Let's use them instead of them using us. Let's use them to make our world better. Let's use them to make ourselves better.
I'd like to mention that, while in this post I discuss sexism from the point of view of discrimination against women, that's solely because I'm discussing it in the context of having angered some of my feminist friends. Sexism goes both ways. Anyone who disputes the idea, consider the following four examples that I can quickly think of off the top of my head: 1) Men can get drafted; women can't. 2) If a girl wants to play sports or read comic books, that's totally cool. If a boy wants to play with dolls or take ballet classes? At least around these parts, Hank Hill best expresses the prevailing attitude, "That boy ain't right." 3) Typically, women can express a wider range of emotions in a wider range of situations and remain socially acceptable than men can. I could be missing something, but I don't think we're to a place yet where men tearing up at a Hallmark commercial would be viewed as commonplace. 4) It's far more socially acceptable for a woman to be a stay-at-home parent or spouse than it is for a man. Sexism is a complicated problem with complex causes, and the answers aren't nearly as simple as most of the folks I've heard speak on the subject seem to think. A large part of the answer involves reframing the way we consider the situation. But again, that's another topic for another day.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back to Business; Back to Balance
The holidays--for me, anyway--are always a nice change of pace, a bit of a breather, a chance to relax, but I get so wildly off-schedule. In one respect, it's fantastic not having to be anywhere at any specific time for most of a week and a half and sometimes more, especially since the stretch before is so darn hectic. In another respect, being that I am an Aspie, going off-schedule really throws me off-balance. So it's a mixed bag. Two factors remain consistent from year to year, however: 1) the holiday period is always over too soon, and 2) I never get as much done as I hope to.
I don't really celebrate...well, much of anything. :P To me, we should give thanks on more than just Thanksgiving; we should embrace the spirit of giving and joy more often than just around Christmas; we should strive to better ourselves and seize the eternal opportunity for new beginnings more often than just at the turn of the year; we should celebrate diversity on more than just Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day; we should celebrate love more often than just on Valentine's, celebrate life and consider our personal integrity and the concept of sacrificing for others more often than just on Easter, consider the earth and our impact on the environment more often than just on Earth Day, thank our mothers more often than just on Mother's Day, honor those who have given their lives for our country more often than just on Memorial Day, thank our fathers more than just on Father's Day, celebrate and consider freedom more than just on Independence Day, honor our veterans and troops more often than just on Veteran's Day...and so on...or whatever those holidays mean to you or whichever holidays you celebrate. Whatever we celebrate/remember/honor, it's my opinion we should carry the spirit of that with us all the time, not just on a single designated day or string of days. So, to me, one day's pretty much the same as any other. Since there's not really any sort of family gathering to speak of, holidays to me are just days off work at the most...or print on the calendar if I don't get the day off. ;)
Once one thing in my schedule goes, it all goes. I lose track of time easily and sometimes even become unsure what day it is since I have no solid reference. I do some cool stuff like reorganize part of my living space and create webpages/forums but also do stuff like forget to sleep and eat for long periods of time. I complain about having to adhere to a schedule and do things like spend most of my day at work, but that schedule provides for me a structure that helps keep my life at least somewhat organized and helps keep me from bouncing wildly from one thing to another. So it's nice to take a break every once in a while, but as reluctant as I can be to admit it, it can also be nice to "get back into the groove." :)
I hope that--whatever holidays you may observe, if any--your holidays were wonderful and that--if it is the turn of the year for you--your new year is terrific.
I don't really celebrate...well, much of anything. :P To me, we should give thanks on more than just Thanksgiving; we should embrace the spirit of giving and joy more often than just around Christmas; we should strive to better ourselves and seize the eternal opportunity for new beginnings more often than just at the turn of the year; we should celebrate diversity on more than just Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day; we should celebrate love more often than just on Valentine's, celebrate life and consider our personal integrity and the concept of sacrificing for others more often than just on Easter, consider the earth and our impact on the environment more often than just on Earth Day, thank our mothers more often than just on Mother's Day, honor those who have given their lives for our country more often than just on Memorial Day, thank our fathers more than just on Father's Day, celebrate and consider freedom more than just on Independence Day, honor our veterans and troops more often than just on Veteran's Day...and so on...or whatever those holidays mean to you or whichever holidays you celebrate. Whatever we celebrate/remember/honor, it's my opinion we should carry the spirit of that with us all the time, not just on a single designated day or string of days. So, to me, one day's pretty much the same as any other. Since there's not really any sort of family gathering to speak of, holidays to me are just days off work at the most...or print on the calendar if I don't get the day off. ;)
Once one thing in my schedule goes, it all goes. I lose track of time easily and sometimes even become unsure what day it is since I have no solid reference. I do some cool stuff like reorganize part of my living space and create webpages/forums but also do stuff like forget to sleep and eat for long periods of time. I complain about having to adhere to a schedule and do things like spend most of my day at work, but that schedule provides for me a structure that helps keep my life at least somewhat organized and helps keep me from bouncing wildly from one thing to another. So it's nice to take a break every once in a while, but as reluctant as I can be to admit it, it can also be nice to "get back into the groove." :)
I hope that--whatever holidays you may observe, if any--your holidays were wonderful and that--if it is the turn of the year for you--your new year is terrific.
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